Friday, January 22, 2010

Freakshow Friday: Hugs not drugs edition

It's time for another instalment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a photo taken from Awkward Family Photos. My best friend will be the judge and she's super flippin' funny so watch out!

I think that this week's photo is awesome.

Reason number 1001 that Billy never made Father of the Year.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.


We all know that you have a big mouth
so put it to good use and spread the word about this little contest.
After you leave your hilarious comment
could you please be a lamb
and invite one smart ass friend to come and play too?
We need some fresh meat around here.

If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Can this man teach me to be a top selling novelist?

This gentleman is leading a fiction writing seminar that I am going to this weekend. I'm scared of his black cat and I'm a little scared that he posed like that with his cat. Yet, I am mustering up all of my courage and heading over to a tiny library in Oconee County to have him bestow his wisdom upon me, whoever he is.

I'm doing this because I need some direction. My novel is half way finished and although I have the rest outlined, I am blocked. It's not flowing. I have 167 pages down and I'm so ready to get it finished.

Plus, my Mom offered to watch the kids and Roger has some work that he needs to do around the house and if I go to this thing then I get an afternoon to myself and I get out of a boring trip to Home Depot and the tedious task of home improvement.

Yeah, but I really do want to finish this novel.
So, Brian Jay Corrigan,

YOU BETTER BRING IT!!!

This is the part where I imagine that he raises his pen over his head and yells "Oh...I already done brought it!" and scares his black cat who then proceeds to jump, hiss, and attach himself to Mr. Corrigan's face. In a fit of panic, Mr. Corrigan stabs his cat in the eye with his pen mere moments before he slips in a pool of his own blood.

See, I'm already feeling more creative.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The moment that I've been waiting for has finally come.


When I was twenty-something years old, I found these vintage juice glasses at an Antique Market in Madison, Georgia. I couldn't pass them up and I bought them with the intention that one day my children would drink Orange Juice from them. I perched them lovingly on the windowsill in the kitchen and would admire the sunlight shining through them and daydream about my future.

Over the years, whenever I moved into a new place, I would unwrap each one and as I placed them in the window of my new kitchen I would say out loud "Now, I'm home." They moved with me six times and I've broken a few but they sit over my sink to this day. I love these little Juice glasses because they were bought with love. They symbolize all that I've achieved and all that I longed for many years. I have a little family just like I wished for in my morning ritual.

I had yet to serve Griffin any juice in them because he is a rambunctious scamp and I didn't want him to break them. The other day, he asked me about the little glasses in the windowsill. "Can I hold one?" he asked me. He studied each of them as they sat atop the window to decide which one he wanted to inspect. I gingerly handed him the one with the tiger on it and he studied it like a five year old would, with a bit of wonder in his eyes.

"Can I drink from it?" he asked me.
"I thought you'd never ask." I told him.

I washed it and rewashed it and washed it again. As I filled it up with juice, my heart swelled a bit. He gently lifted it to his lips and took a sweet sip. After all of the daydreams and wishing and praying for my future, there he was.

Finally, my kiddo drank from my beloved cup.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My kid says funny crap sometimes.

Photobucket

"God made me this way, to love Superheroes." -Griffin

Monday, January 18, 2010

The inept throwback.

I am an inept throwback to the 1950's housewife. Our grandmothers just seemed to know how to be domestic engineers with flair. I could blather on and on about how it's the most important job known to man or ramble almost incoherently about how it's a thankless job it (especially since my 9 month old has kept me up all night and woken up for the day at 5 am that last 3 nights). I love being a Stay at Home Mom but I am constantly laughing at the fact that I am the one running this household. For the most part, I love this job and in my heart I want to keep the house tidy. I wish that I could throw together an elaborate dinner made from scratch every night. In my heart, the kids are always clean and dressed. The reality is that most of the time they have remnants of lunch on their faces and Griffin spends the afternoon running around on the couch in his underwear while a store bought casserole cooks in the oven.

It's comical that I am the one in charge of the laundry because I am challenged when it comes the completing the task. We typically have two laundry baskets in the living room full of clean and unfolded clothes. We simply select the clothes we want to wear from the baskets. We spend some time searching for various items and nine times out of ten, Griffin goes to school in socks that don't match. My husband goes to work with two different socks on all of the time. It's awesome.

It's ridiculous that I am in charge of keeping the house tidy because I am the messiest person on the planet. Once, in High School, my best friend was rummaging through my drawers and found a half eaten Snicker bar stuck to a pair of tights. I wasn't even ashamed when she pointed it out to me. I just shrugged and went on with my life.

I adore the concept of the 1950's housewife as absurd and outdated as it may seem. The whole notion of running a smooth household is a mystery to me. I just love the idea of creating this wonderful space for your family to live in. I love the romantic notion of being this well groomed woman that has her sh*t together and drives to the grocery store in fancy shoes. Yet...I can laugh my inability to ever be that woman.

As I float through my home and look at all of the crap that needs to be done to keep it nice and tidy I am not willing to make the sacrifices needed to have that perfect home. I would rather let the dishes sit in the sink and play Go Fish with Griffin instead. I would rather let the laundry sit unfolded as we dance around the living room. The mopping can wait as I sit on the floor and play with Koen. My home is not perfect but in my heart, I am the type of Woman who can do it all. In reality, not so much.

Thank God my family loves me despite the fact that I am domestic joke.

Please scroll down to see the winner of Freakshow Friday

Winner: So smooth edition

We have a winner for the latest installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super freaky and non-biased best friend was the judge yet again. Here are the top three in no particular order.

Moooooog35..
Try as he might, Jimmy's dad just couldn't be any less proud.

Candice

This photo was taken only moments before
Jackson decided to shove the umbrella up his own ass.

Allyson

said..."...I'm siiiiiing in the rain...my buddies think I'm gayyyyyyy...my parents think it's a phaaaaaaase...my boyfriend's name is chaaaaaaaase..."

The winner is...

This photo was taken only moments before
Jackson decided to shove the umbrella up his own ass.

Candice the funniest Blogger in all the land.
Please head on over to her Blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.


Thanks to all the people who played.
Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Freakshow Friday: So smooth edition

It's time for another instalment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a photo taken from Awkward Family Photos. In my high school, this kid would have been begging for a beat down.


Scott celebrates his "Most likely to whack off" trophy.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.


I'll also linkup to your Blog and make a big deal
about how flippin' funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.