Monday, February 28, 2011

I know that this is wildly inappropriate


...but this makes me laugh every single time that I watch it.

Winner : Biker Babe Edition

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super hilarious and non biased best friend was the judge. Here are the top three in no particular order.

VandyJ

Later, they went out looking for an average time.

Mommy Lisa
Ladies and Gentleman,
Maomi and Whineona, the Dudds.

Mother Theresa
Purgatory's Angels

The winner is...
Mommy Lisa

Ladies and Gentleman,
Maomi and Whineona, the Dudds.

Mommy Lisa
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Now head on over to her blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

Photobucket

Thanks to all the people who played.

Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Freakshow Friday :: Biker Babe Edition

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo found on the web. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, I decided after last week's horrific bunny photo to take a tamer approach.

Born to be mild.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

Photobucket

If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

You Capture : The Letter "L"

It's been a while since I participated in You Capture
so I decided to jump right back in.
This week the assignment was the letter "L".
So, we have this log in our yard
that is pretty fantastic.

I really love this log.
It just looks so smart to me,
as if it holds many stories within the bark.

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I can't believe that I would knowingly eat Bambi's mom.

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My husband recently had a very successful hunting trip during deer season.
He shot 5 deer and came home a proud papa.
We have a freezer full of meat
and a beautiful new European mount of the
eight point buck he came home with.
I really think that it looks wonderful perched above our fireplace.

I never would have imagined that I would fall in love with a hunter
and well, I honestly didn't, since Roger started hunting after we were married.
I was always against hunting as a young girl
(who wasn't traumatized by Bambi?)
but I am now seeing it in a different light.

The thing is, I love knowing where our meat comes from.
You cannot get more hormone free than a deer found in the wild
and it's so much more humane than the factory raised meat
you can buy at the grocery store.
I don't buy any meat anymore,
we only eat what Roger brings home.

My father-in-law harvests and protects the deer
at the Plantation where Roger hunts.
I know that it sounds crazy to protect animals and then kill them
but there is a profound respect for nature.

I know that Roger feels a deep satisfaction
knowing that he provides food for his family
Every time I look at that mount
I feel proud of my hunter-gatherer husband.

There is something very primal in the hunt.
There is something spiritual about the sustainability
of the food chain.

I amaze myself all the time
as I start to have new perspectives on hunting.
Thank God because if I was against it,
I could just see myself at marriage counseling,
crying on a therapist's couch
while Roger sat next to me
and polished his rifle.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Happiness Project :: Week 51

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Hiking by the river on a sunny day.
It's so fun to watch little boys
stomp through the woods.

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If you want to jump on the bandwagon
simply post a photo of something that
makes you wildly happy.
Then, steal my button up there
and include it in your post.
Please let me know if you decide to join in.

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Stay at Home Mom Chronicles : Sleepy Conversations

I'm realizing that my days around here seem to run together.
Ordinary moments unfold around me daily
and I need to stop and relish in them.
One day, my boys will be out living life
and I will miss these everyday experiences.

So, I am taking the time to document
the simple moments that pass between us.
I'm calling this little collection of memories...

<span class=

Some of the best conversations that I've had with Griffin
have been when he is settling down at bedtime.
For some reason, when he is tired
his little mind just opens up.

I love to curl up next to him
and before we tell bed time stories
he'll say
"Watcha' want to talk about?"

Then, we have grand conversations.
I adore the sleepy halo of thoughts that surround
his messy hair.


This ritual is starting to happen with Koen too.
I suppose that the snuggling lends itself to sweet bedtime talks.
Although, ours are much different being that he is 22 months old.

The other night, as he was relaxing in my arms
and we rocked dreamily,
his little hand patted my arm as he quietly whispered...

"Nice, mama, happy."

The he held up his palm and announced

"Hi five."

We slapped a high five
and then he settled down and fell asleep.

I will always cherish the
sleepy conversations that I have with my boys.

Winner : Bunny Edition

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super hilarious and non biased best friend was the judge. Here are the top three in no particular order.

Mother Theresa

The Durex Bunny in the new Durex condom ad:
With Durex every ride is a safe one.

VandyJ
He just needed some bunny to love him.

Asha
Tom was willing to do whatever
it took to move into the Playboy Mansion.
If only Hugh Heffner would give him a chance..

The winner is...
Asha

Tom was willing to do whatever
it took to move into the Playboy Mansion.
If only Hugh Heffner would give him a chance..

Asha
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Now head on over to her blog

and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

Photobucket

Thanks to all the people who played.

Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Freakshow Friday : Bunny Edition

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo found on the web. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, I find it terrifying.

Does this car make my ass look big?

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

Photobucket

If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A wink to the housewife that I'll never be.

It's no secret that I am obsessed with the 1950's.
It just seemed like such an iconic time.
I mean, I know that it probably wasn't an ideal time
for feminism but there is just something
so beautiful to me about the simplicity of that era.

The biggest question that I get around here
is where do I get the images that I use.
Well, I collect magazines from the 1950's.
The flea market is like a dream come true for me.

I have over 20 issues of vintage Ladie's Home Journal Magazines.
Any time that I need an image for my blog,
I just plop down on the couch with an old issue
and step back into time.
Then I scan them in and wah lah...
my Blog instantly feels special.

I thought that I would share some of the best ones with you.
Feel free to copy them for your blog...
it's a little gifty from me to you!











Aren't these ladies dreamy?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Yeah, I am blogging on Wednesday about something that happened on Saturday. Let's face it, unless I blog about it, it's like it didn't happen.


Despite the fact we did not dance on the rooftops in Paris,
Roger and I did get to steal a moment away last weekend,
just the two of us, to celebrate an early Valentine's Day.
We went to a lovely wine and cheese bar
that is pretty fancy for our little college town.

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There was cheesecake and not cheese involved this time, though.
Pistachio Cheesecake, to be exact, and maybe
a little white wine.

I might have gotten a little tipsy
in the glow of the candlelight.
We might have played footsie under the table.

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There is the best quote painted in a mural
over the loo that I have to share with you...
it always captivates me and brings on a grin
when I go in there to powder my nose...

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"I only drink champagne when I'm happy, and when I'm sad.
Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone.
When I have company, I consider it obligatory.
I trifle with it if I am not hungry and drink it when I am.
Otherwise I never touch it - unless I'm thirsty."
~Lilly Bollinger

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Happiness Project :: Week 50

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Going to the Movies in the middle of the afternoon.

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If you want to jump on the bandwagon
simply post a photo of something that
makes you wildly happy.
Then, steal my button up there
and include it in your post.
Please let me know if you decide to join in.



Monday, February 14, 2011

The Greatest Thing You Will Ever Learn, Is Just to love, and Be Loved in Return.

My Valentine's wish is for Roger to
come busting through the door after work
and serenade me
in the kitchen while I finish cooking dinner.

Preferably, he'd reenact my favorite scene from
the best movie ever...
Moulin Rouge.

I want it to rain glitter
and I want to dance on a rooftop in Paris.
I want to be scantily clad
and have the moon sing for us
while we twirl in the fog.

Sigh...


A girl can dream...

I hope that y'all know that I couldn't
quite possibly really expect this to happen.
Yes I do
...wait, no I don't
(I totally do)
not really
(but I do).


Happy Valentine's Day!!

Winner : Puppy Edition

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super hilarious and non biased best friend has a new baby and is asleep by 9 pm so...I was the ol' judge this time. I am also super hilarious and non biased. Here are the top three in no particular order.
Secret Mom Thoughts
Tidbit tried his best William Shatner impression.

Moooooog35
Rustin Rieber.

Amy
Donald Trump was furious when Peanut
swiped his favorite rug to hit up all the single bitches!

The winner is...

Amy

Donald Trump was furious when Peanut
swiped his favorite rug to hit up all the single bitches!

Amy
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Now head on over to her blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

Photobucket

Thanks to all the people who played.
Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Freakshow Friday : Puppy Edition

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, it is the most awesome thing I have ever seen.

Tidbit knew that his hair was out of this world.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

Photobucket

If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Livin' la Vida Loca

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I am a firm believer in trips to Party City for no reason,
it's good for the soul.
I found this awesome headband in the fiesta theme area recently.
What's not to love about a tiny sequined sombrero?
It's like it was made just for me.

This headband is helping me to live the crazy life.
Thursday night is taco night at my house.
This just means that I grab an Old El Paso Taco Kit and cook it up.
I put on this little sombrero and talk like a drunk Hispanic man
while I stir the ground beef.

If you are an old Hispanic man or know any old Hispanic men
I hope that I am not offending you.
The thing is, that my kids think that it's hilarious.
So I just can't help myself.
If mama has the sombrero on
things can get a little crazy around here.

The past few Thursdays Roger has walked in the door from work
to see me in my fancy headband and we all scream
"IT'S TACO NIGHT!"
at the top of our lungs.

Koen usually looks frightened at that point.

We really need to get out more.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Zen and The Art of Loading the Dishwasher.


I hated loading the dishwasher when I was a child.
It was one of my chores and the most dreaded.
Part of the reason for my disdain was the fact that my father
was raised by a meticulous Marine.
Everything had to be done in a certain way or my dad had to do it over.
It's a wonder that my sweet dad can function at all
after all the white glove inspections that he had to endure through out childhood.

So, there my dad would tower over me as I loaded the dishwasher,
instructing me in the proper spoon placement to maximize dish washing potential.
They had to be placed spoon up in the basket
or my dad would get worked up into a tizzy and
I would get a healthy talking to about living up to our responsibilities.
I would sometimes fantasize about a world where all the spoons were washed face down.

Fast forward to present day and I have held on to my disdain for dishwasher loading.
So much so that I often find myself doing the wash of shame in the afternoons.
Last night's dishes sit piled up in the sink, laughing at me as I walk by.
They taunt me as I rinse them, saying things like...
"You are such a lazy person, look at yourself,
scrubbing extra hard because you left us here all night."
The spoons sit lurking, waiting to bully me
into putting them in spoon side up.
Maybe I'm the only person in the world that finds
themselves bullied by their dishes.

Well, I've grown tired of all the negative self talk
and I am practicing the art of cleaning the kitchen right after dinner.
Roger takes the children into the living room and
they take turns riding on his back and him tossing them in the air.
I like to call it the "Daddy Carnival".
As squeals of delight resound in the other room,
I load the dishwasher.

It feels very zen,
the warm water running over my hands,
a few moments to myself all alone in the kitchen,
the dishes smile at me and say "thank you" as I rinse them.

It's actually become one of my favorite moments of the day
and I feel myself growing as I place each dish into the dishwasher.
Rebellion from a teenager is expected
but rebellion by a Stay at Home Mom is just kinda sad.
I am choosing to take care of my home.
I am choosing to silence those negative dishes.
I am no longer taking abuse from my spoons.

You can bet your sweet cheeks that

they are going in that damn dishwasher
spoon side down.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Happiness Project :: Week 49

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Little yellow Daffodil buds
about to bloom in my front yard.

An early sign that spring is near.


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If you want to jump on the bandwagon
simply post a photo of something that
makes you wildly happy.
Then, steal my button up there
and include it in your post.
Please let me know if you decide to join in.


Monday, February 7, 2011

Scenes from the Skating Rink.

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When I was a girl I had a deep love for the skating rink.
Of course, I thought that I was the queen of skating.

It was the 80's and the skating rink ruled!
I loved everything about it.
The bright lights, the loud music,
the thrill of picking up speed,
showing off with the backwards skate,
dancing in my skates in the center ring,
winning at the Hokey Pokey,
pigging out on nachos at the snack bar,
looking for a boy to couple skate with,
and skating into the bathroom to escape ugly boys.

You can imagine how thrilled I was
when one of Griffin's friends had a skate party for his birthday over the weekend.

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I felt confident as I strapped on my skates and embarked to the rink.
It had been about ten years since I last skated
but that didn't matter...
remember, I'm the queen of the rink.

Suffering from delusions of grandeur,
I was taken off guard to discover that
as I glided out into the crowd I felt a bit wobbly.
I tried to play it off and look awesome.
I'll just go ahead and tell you that I failed miserably.

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I slowly shuffled my feet to get my groove back when
out of nowhere, a crew of what looked to be seven year old kids
came whizzing up behind me
and I squealed like a little girl.

Before I had a chance to recover,
a posse of pre-teen girls rounded the corner
and nearly knocked me over.
I spun in a circle while spinning my arms to keep my balance.

Just as my skates got beneath me,
a bratty kid barreled past and gave me the stink eye.

It was terrifying.

I made a run for the safety of the carpet.

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There I met with Griffin who felt pretty awesome
in his roller skates.
This was his first attempt at skating and
he did great on the carpet as he sped around.

I dropped my cool facade and just enjoyed watching Griffin
experience something new and exciting.
We even braved the rink and skated around hand in hand,
falling all over one another and laughing our faces off.

Griffin looked over at me
in the glow of the disco light
as if I was the coolest Mom on roller skates.
Suddenly, just as quickly as I had been run off the rink,
I knew that I was still the queen of skating.

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Meanwhile, over in the arcade, Koen had
high jacked the Deer Hunter gun.
He pointed it at innanament objects
like the Air Hockey table
and screamed "Pow!" and "Take that!"

Roger was so proud to see his youngest son
take an interest in hunting.

We totally ruled the rink!

Winner : Spidey Edition

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super hilarious and non biased best friend was the judge. Here are the top three in no particular order.
Luc Herbots
"Who wants an upside down Spidey kiss in the rain?"
"Anyone?"

Sue
Spideyman: Taking arachnaphobia to a whole new level.

Mich
Mary will NEVER tell her sexual fantasies to anyone again.
Sven just killed the best one she had

The winner is...
Luc Herbots

"Who wants an upside down Spidey kiss in the rain?"
"Anyone?"

Luc Herbots
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Now head on over to her blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

Photobucket

Thanks to all the people who played.

Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Freakshow Friday : Spidey Edition

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, this dude is the hotness and he knows it.

Sven will regret this when the Esctacy wears off.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

Photobucket

If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.


Thursday, February 3, 2011

Thoughts on Motherhood :: Being the teacher and the student.

{photo credit here}

My oldest son is a deep thinker who has big thoughts that take up residence in his mind. Don't get me wrong, he is a joyful child in general but as he goes out into the big bad world, these thoughts live in him, and turn over in his sweet young brain. It's my job to help him process these hefty worries that are just slightly too complex for him. We have many conversations and I am beyond thankful that he feels that he can confide in me. Yet, as a Mother, it is a heavy burden to bear.

I try to give him strategies to stop the cycle of anxiety that turns within him. Sometimes they help him and sometimes they don't. The other day I decided to give him a "worry doll" to put in his pocket. It was a small heart that he could rub if he felt worried about anything and I told him that rubbing it would activate my love for him and give him comfort. "No, it won't, that's not real." He scoffed as he placed the silly talisman into my defeated palm.

My heart sank, he's getting wiser and harder to comfort. Yet still, he comes to me, curls up in my lap, and tells me his innermost thoughts. I try to explain to him that he is in control of his brain and that if he feels anxious that he should just stop the scary thought and replace it with a different thought. I've tried to teach him the art of visualization and the power that our thoughts have over reality. I've tried to teach him to not be afraid of his own mind. These are huge concepts that some adults can't even grasp.

As I scoot him out to the world, my heart goes with him and wishes that I could carry the burden for him. What I would give to be by his side always, to build him up and make him feel strong. Worry settles in my own mind as my spirit aches to protect his sweet heart. It dawned on me recently that I have to practice what I preach if he is going to learn anything from me. I am the one who needs to be in control of my own thoughts and not allow myself to be consumed with worry about the fact that he worries. It's a strange and surprising paradox.

The truth is that I can take comfort in the fact that within all of his big thoughts, there are lessons to be found. I can't be afraid of watching him hurt because every single struggle that he overcomes is going to make him a better person. He can't be sheltered from his own anxiety because otherwise how will he ever learn to manage it as he grows into an adult? My hope is that he will be a very mindful man who has an extraordinary understanding of his own thoughts. I can only imagine how self aware he will be from the hard work that we are doing now. Maybe I am planting seeds that will bloom as he ages. Perhaps he will remember the day that he curled up in my lap and his mama told him to never be afraid of his own thoughts. Maybe the same seeds blossom in me as I learn to manage my maternal worries that I feel for him.

I am his teacher but I am also a student. My hope is to always learn something new about myself through my children as I navigate with them through this life. Motherhood is such a humbling experience for me as the responsibility lies on my shoulders to guide them through life. Yet, sometimes as I work my hardest to lift Griffin up, I find that it is actually his small and brave shoulders that carry me.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)

Major spoiler alert: If you have yet to see the film "Knowing" and don't want to me to ruin it for you then you should just skip this post. Go ahead and click here.


The other night I got sucked into watching the film "Knowing" with Roger. I was trying to go to bed when it came on but somehow ended up being sucked into the plot. I would announce that I was going to bed in 5 minutes but then I would just keep sitting there like a moron, getting more and more involved in the plot. Here is a quick description of the film-

In the fall of 1959, for a time capsule, students draw pictures of life as they imagine it will be in 50 years. Lucinda, an odd child who hears voices, swiftly writes a long string of numbers. In 2009, the capsule is opened; student Caleb Koestler gets Lucinda's "drawing" and his father John, an astrophysicist and grieving widower, takes a look. He discovers dates of disasters over the past 50 years with the number who died. Three dates remain, all coming soon. He investigates, learns of Lucinda, and looks for her family. He fears for his son, who's started to hear voices and who is visited by a silent stranger who shows him a vision of fire and destruction. What's going on?

(I just copy and pasted that from IMDb, I'm lazy, people).

So, about 30 minutes into this movie I realize that it was more than likely about the Apocalypse. Now, the only thing that scares me more than movies about Exorcism and Satan are movies about the end of the world, especially right before bedtime. I get all twitchy and start putting together a disaster survival kit in my mind. I worked myself into a tizzy and then scolded Roger for allowing me to watch such scary crap right before I was going to bed.


There was this one scene where a plane comes barreling out of the sky, crashes right in front of Nicholas Cage, and he then runs to help the injured people. I found myself yelling at the screen things like "Don't be a hero" and "You're going to need therapy after this!" It was intense, people running around screaming and on fire. I would scream "Stop, drop, and roll, moron" as my heart pounded in my chest. It was terrible and I knew that I was going to have some messed up dreams from watching it.

I fled the living room midway through the film and crawled into my bed, lifting a quick prayer to the heavens that my brain would take pity on me from watching that crap. I am very susceptible to bad dreams when I watch creepy movies. I mean, I've had nightmares after watching something as harmless as The Jersey Shore, so I was nervous as I drifted off into sleep. This is how my subconscious interpreted what I had just watched...

I am standing in my front yard with my children when my father approaches me. He tells me that he has seen a vision of the future and that at 3:00 pm a penguin was going to fall from the sky and poke me in the eye. There was nothing that I could do to avoid it. Suddenly, I look at my watch and it is 3:00 on the dot. The sky is full of birds flying this way and that, when I see the penguin flying toward me high in the sky. It just keeps getting closer and closer and then it dives down toward me. Out of fear of being poked in the eye by the insane penguin, I grab the children and dive under the top of our turtle sandbox to take shelter. The penguin lands with a thud and then pecks away at the lid on top of us.

Then I woke up and couldn't help but laugh.
I mean, a penguin falling from the sky?
A sandbox lid for protection?

I got off lucky this time.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Happiness Project :: Week 48

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Taking a moment to visit the "fishies"
when we are grocery shopping.

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If you want to jump on the bandwagon
simply post a photo of something that
makes you wildly happy.
Then, steal my button up there
and include it in your post.
Please let me know if you decide to join in.