A letter to Koen to read when you are a bit older.

Dear Koen,

Happy due date to you. I can't believe that we made it this far. When I was 4 weeks pregnant with you, I was stung by a wasp and had an allergic reaction. It was swollen and scary. I didn't know what to do because you were so little. I took Benadryl and prayed.

We made it through that.

When I was 29 weeks pregnant, I fell down. Again, it was scary because you were too little to be born yet. I went to the hospital and I prayed and prayed that you would be okay. You did beautifully in my belly and stayed healthy and happy.

We made it through that.

When I was 33 weeks pregnant, I had a bad toothache. The doctor told me that I had to go to the dentist to get it fixed because if I didn't, you could come early. I went to the dentist and prayed and that you would stay in my tummy so you could keep growing.

We made it through that.

So, here we are, on your due date and you are still healthy and in my tummy. I think that is a cause for celebration! You are a strong boy. I know that and I haven't even met you yet.

You have also already started teaching me lessons. You're big brother Griffin was born 6 days early. He was ready to come out into the world. When my midwife heard that news, she told to expect to see you even earlier. My heart skipped a beat, because I can't wait to meet you. Well...here we are 2 weeks later and you are still in my tummy. When Griffin was born, I had a "check up" and later the next day, he was born.

So, the midwife gave me a check up and told me that you could be here in 24 to 48 hours. That was one week ago. You are still in my tummy.

You have already taught me to not compare you to your big brother.
You are your own little person and will do things in YOUR way.
You have already taught me to let go of
expectations of any kind and give you the freedom to be Koen.

I get it...I can do that for you.

So, come home and meet your family. I know that mommy feels safe but I will still protect you when you come and I promise to love you for being you. No expectations.
Just unconditional love.

I love you,

Mommy