Monday, June 22, 2009

Perfect in my imperfections

I am curious about this little diamond. I wonder if it feels shiny and pretty despite the fact that it is an imperfect diamond. I wonder it ever feels insecure about that one little spot that keeps it from being perfect.

I can relate!

Lately, I've been coming into myself a bit. I have forever had just a little bit of shame about the fact that I have to work so hard to be "domestic". It just doesn't come naturally for me to want to keep a clean home. I like my mess, I really do, but it's just not fair for my family to have to live in it too. So, I fight with my house constantly. I have an ongoing battle with the dishes, laundry, scattered toys, unmade beds, the list could go on and on.

I ruin dinner at least once a week.

Since having a, second child the list now extends to personal upkeep as well. I need a pedicure, my feet are shameful. My eyebrows haven't been waxed since before I gave birth. Sometimes, I go days without showering. I am the bottom of my own list.

There was a time in my life, even recently, that I didn't want the world to know what a mess I really am. Lately, I'm becoming more comfortable with my imperfections.

My house may not be perfect. My hair may not be perfect. I might have dirt under my fingernails half of the time. I love myself anyway. I've come to realize that I can be who I am without explanation. I don't need to strive to appear like I have it all together.

I am a haphazard mama who is learning to love my home instead of fight with it.

I am a shiny imperfect diamond.

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