Uncool mama...

I knew that it would happen eventually.
That my son would shift from thinking
I was the coolest person in the entire world
to thinking that I was the lamest mommy.

I anticipated it would happen
when he turned thirteen
but no, it had to happen at the ripe age of four.

It happened at the grocery store.
With a cart full of groceries while we were in line to pay
Griffin started doing the "I gotta pee dance".
I did what any Mom would do
with a kid who looked like he was about to
pee all over the place.
I quickly asked the man in front of us if we could
squeeze past him and get by.
"We have a potty emergency!"
I announced as my little crew swiftly
ran as fast as we could to the bathroom.

After Griffin did his business
and was washing his little bitty hands he told me
in a very serious manner
"Mom, don't tell everybody I have to go potty like that,
it's just so embarrassing."

With that honest reprimand I knew
instantly that it was the beginning of the end.
I had embarrassed my kid.
Next thing you know, he'll be telling me to drop him off
a block away from school because
he's ashamed to be seen with me.

To add insult to injury,
Koen has his first cold and I had to squeegee
his nose and give him nose spray.
He was completely insulted
and disgusted with me.
After he stopped crying,
he fussed at me like an angry squirrel for about twenty minutes.
It's just not fun to be bitched out by a four month old.