Friday, July 3, 2009

Words to meditate on

I'm all into playing silly Blog games
with my friends these days.
It makes me feel like
I'm part of a "Blogging community."
So here is my latest dip into trying to be cool.

Reply to this post using words, and I’ll give you 5 words that remind me of you,Then post to your own blog with your meditations on those words, inviting others to ask you for words.

Supergirl Saves the World gave me this assignment:

Mother. Self-reflective. Witty. Nostalgia. Selflessness

The kids are in bed and the hubby tucked in early too. I have a moment to myself. Whew.

What better way to use my well earned free time to not only complete this task but to also post images by my absolute favorite artist of all time Nikki Mcclure ? Yeah...cause I'm just that creative.

I've always wanted to be a Mom. When my husband and I were dating, I told him that I knew that it sounded crazy but I really wanted to be a stay at home mom. His mom stayed home with him and he was thrilled that I wanted to do it too. I think that we both knew at that moment that we were going to get married and raise a family together. It was exciting! Two kids later I am so glad that I made that decision. I have a heart that was made to love my children. Some people are brought into your life to challenge you, while others swoop in and teach you what it means to truly love someone unconditionally. My son's teach me everyday just as much as I teach them. It's overwhelming and humbling to have so much respect and love go back and forth each day.


Self-reflection is a gift and a curse. When I was a teenager and I had some sort of issue, my mother would suggest that I go in my room and write about it in my journal. Then, after I had figured out a solution, she would take me out to dinner and we would discuss my reflections and discoveries. What a gift she gave me in that. I learned to look within at an early age. If I experienced heartache or embarrassment my mom would say "What have you learned from this experience?" It made me fearless because every horrible moment would be followed by a lesson that I carry with me to this day. It's those moments when you look within and discover strength and dignity. On the other hand, too much reflection can make a girl crazy. It's a very delicate balance.


When I was growing up, my dad was a clown. He was even Ronald Mcdonald for a while. He was also a magician, mime, and a puppeteer. He did birthday parties and often times, I was his handy assistant. I think that this gave me a leg up in the witty department. I also think that it's important to be able to find the humor in life. This is a strong part of my marriage. When things get really hard, it's crucial that my man and I can just look at each other and laugh.


I have a strange thought sometimes. I think about myself as a child, my little legs and curly hair. My freckles and silly teeth and I miss that little girl. I mean, I'm still the same person but that little girl is physically not on this earth anymore. That is nostalgia to me. It's an ache for once was and a yearning to see that little girl just one more time when I look in the mirror.


This is a hard pill for me to swallow because I am not a selfless person by nature. I mean, if I have two slices of cake left and one slice is the corner piece that has all the frosting, you can bet your sweet ass that I'm taking the piece with that yummy frosting. I'll find no shame in handing you the crummy slice with just a little bit of icing on it. Trust me, just ask my husband, the poor guy hasn't eaten a decent bite of cake since the moment I walked into his life! My children have taught me what it means to be selfless and I have to fight to do it everyday. The tricky part is to pull it off without becoming a martyr. Nobody likes a martyr. If dinner is on the table and my baby starts to cry because he's hungry, I put down my fork and feed my son. No questions asked. Then, I have to try real hard to not return to the table and feel sorry for myself that my food is cold and I'm too damn hungry to heat it up. Isn't is amazing that I just managed to associate the word selflessness with food? Hmmm...perhaps I should reflect on that!


Anonymous said...

Leigh, I enjoyed reading about your five words. I've been a lazy blogger, so this would give me something interesting to blog about. Please send me 5 words.

It was great to see you and the boys yesterday! XOXO

leigh said...

You got it are your words.


We had a great time too. Hopefully,Tai will still want to ppay again after the pushing incident.

Carolyn said...

i love so many things about your accounts of life in just the first few posts i've read. For instance, your comeback to your "video game addicted" son. So calm...and so true!

Also, I was so touched by your mothers way of helping you cope. {May i possibly post your excerpt on my bog sometime?}

I have a feeling i can learn a lot from this awesome little blog of yours ;) Thanks for reading mine too! {which i fear is a little less wisdom, a little more poo poo pee pee talk?}

So excited to have found you!

leigh said...


I'm so happy to have you join me. I love your Blog too! You are flippin' hilarious!

Feel free to post my excerpt. Blogging really is amazing. It's crazy to think that 2 kindred spirits like us may have never known about each other if it weren't for our Blogs!


Heather of the EO said...

I came by from SITS today and fell in love with you. Sorry if that's creepy :)

LOVE this post, the art and your words.

So nice to meet you!


Karen said...

Those are some great words.

I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, too. Maybe some day.

Hope you had a great holiday! Visiting you from SITS.

Jenny said...

Visiting you from SITS. Love your word crafting. My words for tonight are couch potato. I've been watching three granddaughters most of the day. Yikes.