Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Smooth move mommy!

I am terrified of Horses. I could write for days about all of the reasons that I find them to be one of the most terrifying creatures on earth but I'll just save those details for a therapist's couch one day. Much to my chagrin, Griffin is taking horseback riding lessons. Every Monday afternoon I stand in the barn and try to remain calm as my precious child grooms a huge horse. I refuse to show any signs of fear (reason #1 horses are scary-THEY SMELL YOUR FEAR) because Griffin has a lovely relationship with these fearsome animals.

Well, yesterday my good intentions ran out and I spazzed out. Griffin started to walk casually behind Rosie the big huge horse (reason #2 they are scary-they might kick the crap out of you if you walk behind them) as his instructor had her back turned to him.

Suddenly this image flashed in my mind


I freaked out! My mama heart exploded in my chest and before I could stop myself, I screamed at the top of my lungs "GRIFFIN, NO, STOP!" I screamed as if he was about to walk in front of oncoming traffic. Griffin jumped, the horse jerked, and his instructor looked up in shock. Instant tears came flowing from my little boy's eyes as he held his chest and caught his breath. "You scared me mom!" he whimpered. "I'm afraid of Rosie, I wanna go home!"

His instructor swooped in and comforted him and assured him that Rosie was sweet and that he had nothing to fear. I felt like an idiot. I felt like an asshat as I stood there watching my son fall apart because of me. I wanted to comfort him.

I was ejected from the barn. Ms. Jacki said "Mommy is going to go take a little walk and meet us down at the ring in a few minutes." I was ostracized from the stables. I took my walk of shame and almost started crying. Luckily, I pulled it together and by the time they walked toward me for the lesson, I was all fake smiles and over enthusiasm.

Griffin recovered pretty quickly from my outburst but processed it throughout the entire lesson.He grabbed a plastic frog that they use in the training and said "Never stand behind a frog or thay will kick you!" Then he'd hit himself in the head with the frog. He said the same thing about butterflies and puppy dogs.

"Great" I thought to myself, "I've ruined the entire animal kingdom for him!"

When we got in the car to leave, I told Griffin how silly mommy was for yelling like that and that sometimes mommies do that because they love their kids so much. He let me save face and said "I wasn't scared cause you yelled mom, I was scared because I was thinking about skeletons."

You know what though? I never have to worry about Griffin walking behind a horse ever. I put the fear of God in him. Sometimes, as a Mom, I guess that you just have to act like an a-wad and get ejected from the barn. I'll do whatever it takes to keep my kid out of harm's way!

In other news...
we have a winner in my first ever Giveaway.

Congrats to Lesley at Project Mommywood

She won all of my loot from Scary Mommy contest.
Prizes include a t-shirt and poster for the movie Motherhood


and blankets from aiden+anais

Thanks to all of you so much for your readership and support!

15 comments:

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

He needs things to discuss with his therapist when he is older. Think of it as doing him a favor!

kys said...

I'm scared of horses, too. Heck, I'm scared of squirrels.

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

oh my! horses? I can see that. I would have a fear MORE of a horse lifestyle which I think involves a lot of braids.

Alicia said...

oh man....that's scary....it is hard as parents because we always imagine the worst case situation..but thankfully he bounced back and mommy only looks slightly crazy :)

Matty said...

It certainly sounds understandable that you'd be afraid for him. My brother and his wife have a horse farm and give riding lessons. Adults, and kids of all ages. The lessons include safety. They won't allow the parents to be around when they give lessons to the kids, just for this reason.

It's ok to be concerned. He's your baby. But don't let your fear become his fear.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

i loved how he said he was thinking of skeletons - i LOVE IT!

GG said...

I'm scared of horses too! My friend has a miniature and I try my best to be friendly to him. I will pet him and, well, I'm not really worried about being behind him since he's just a little thing... But Brian (my friend) is always trying to get me to feed him all open-palm style with an apple or something. I never do for reason# fiftymillion: When they bite down their jaw locks and they must bite down until their teeth touch before they can open their mouths again. I always get this terrible image of his miniature feeding out of my palm and biting all the way down on my fingers or something... it freaks me out!

MJ said...

Oh dear, I think we all could have been guilty of this - especially when it involves something that we fear greatly!
When ever we go boating or anything out of my comfort zone I have to have a pep talk with myself - and take a dose of Xanax!
MJ
Dirty Little Confessions

Andrea said...

Poor little guy...poor mommie! Just so you know I passed on my fear of heights to several of my kids. I really did not mean to, but like you a few little incidences and there you have it. I have at least 2 grown kids who are practically petrified of heights. One is a marine and learned to suck it up...but he told me, privately of course that he still hates them.
Blessings, andrea

Tami G said...

I'm with SFTC - I love that he said he was thinking of skeletons! How old is he again? he's trying to protect you and doesn't even realize it? ;-)
He didn't want you to feel bad for scaring the CRAP out of him......
awwwwwwwwww
My son is 14 and I can't tell you how many times I have looked at him and said "who's the parent here?" because he'll do sweet little things trying to protect me.

I've been a single mommy all his life, we have a pretty special bond =-) Sounds like you do too!

Moooooog35 said...

Scream at him, then tell him you were thinking of skeletons.

Way to start off his life as a world renowned serial killer.

Nice job, mom.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

Congrats on the Scary Mommy win!!! Your post was awesome -

I want you to know after not reading blogs for a couple of days, the first one I opened was yours and seeing the horse and you yelling at your son made me laugh. Thanks for brightening my day at your expense ;)

Alice in Wonderland said...

I've been around horses and cattle for all of my life! I started riding when I was just three years old. I can't imagine anyone being scared of them, but I can understand others fears and how you need to protect your child. Horses are very big to small children, and cows are just the most stubborn creatures in the whole world! But I guess that it is just what you know and what you are brought up with. My personal fear is of being closed in cities! I hated New York! And I'm going to London tomorrow too!

blueviolet said...

You were creating fears where none previously existed? Oh yeah, they were right to boot ya!

Tracie said...

I hate to admit that I laughed when he said not to stand behind a frog...just the best mental picture ever!!

Honestly though, it might not have been the best way to instill that level of carefulness in him, but at least you know that he will never be in the position to get kicked by any animal...ever!