Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Nanny nanny boo boo


Remember last week when Griffin came down with a handful of neuroses? Well, I got to the bottom of it. Earlier this week my little scaredy cat and I had a very interesting conversation in the car. It went like this-

G:"Mom?"
Me: "Yeah?"
G: "Do Moms ever sell their kids?"
Me: "Uh, no...where did you hear that?"
G: "An older girl on the playground told me that you were going to sell me!" (crying)
Me: "Honey...I would never sell you. That's just silly."

There were hugs and tears and assurances on my part that I am not in the market to sell any of my kids.

This opened the door to a family conversation later at the dinner table. My husband is a bad ass. I'll just go ahead and say it. He was the kid on the playground that beat the crap out of older kids because they were picking on his big brother. He can throw down and has a fierce instinct to protect his children. I always feel safe with my man around. I decided the moment that I knew that we were having a boy that I would let Roger handle any problems on the playground that our son may have. I'm a lover not a fighter.

Yet, as we both sat explaining to our sweet 4 year old the concept of a bully and how to handle it, I totally got into the spirit and we taught him some pretty classic comebacks. Things like...

"So funny I forgot to laugh!"

"See ya wouldn't wanna be ya!"

"That's so old the last time I heard that I fell of my dinosaur!"

"You're ugly and yo mama dresses you funny!"

After we role played with him a bit and had him giggling at these comebacks I could see his confidence returning. In the end though, we told him just to walk away from any mean kids. We told him that sometimes older kids think that they are cool and that making little kids cry makes them feel cooler. The best revenge is to not let them know that they made you sad. That way, they won't feel so cool. If that doesn't work then go tell the teacher and if that doesn't work you come and tell dad. We all know what happens if dad gets involved, some mean little girl will end up crying her eyeballs out on the monkey bars.

So now my son is starting to learn his life lessons. As a mom, I want to protect him from the nasty girls and mean boys of the world. We can't shelter him though, the sooner he learns how to handle himself on the playground the better. The more he learns to face and overcome his fears, the stronger he will get. If he is anything like my husband was, I think that I better prepare myself to have many visits to the principals office cause Griffin gave some kid a black eye.

The mean kids of the world better watch out!

19 comments:

Insanitykim said...

I came over from Speaking from the Crib because she told me to...well not directly but I know a strong suggestion when I see one...

Man I hear ya on the bullies and role playing and all of that, we go through the same thing here. Except a mean girl keeps whirling her purse at my son's head. Trying.to.stay.calm.

Good to visit ya, happy blogging!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

Those lessons start early and don't stop. Teaching boys to be tough without being bully's is hard - well not if you have your husband hanging around.

Erin M. said...

I am scared for this to begin with my girls. I was bullied and teased relentlessly. It was awful. Not as much when I was little, but more like 6th & 7th grades. Ugh. It's so not fair. I hope I have the sense to prepare my kids as you have and teach them the tools they need. And I hope it works.

Matty said...

Like Erin, I was bullied and teased too. Even when I walked away, they wouldn't leave it alone and would follow and keep taunting me. I like how you're handling it. He now has some ways of dealing with it.

our b life said...

It sounds like you handled it perfect. Kids are cruel and hey some adults are too. I'm sure your son will take your lesson and use it.

Andrea said...

Kids can be cruel to one another. Poor baby!
Blessings, andrea

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Thankfully that is one thing I don't have to worry about...my kid is the bully.

Danielle said...

Ok, I love this, but I got to tell ya that if he uses any of those one liners, they are gonna beat up his mommy. :)
Great lesson that I need to remember when my kiddo get school aged.

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

NICE.

it's great that he's learning how to kick ass and take names -- in a non-violent way, of course...

Teresha@Marlie and Me said...

you and the hubs handled this perfectly. the best way to deal with bullies is not to let them see you affected by their cruelty.

Michelle said...

It's tough being a Mom. I think it's especially tough with boys. You want to teach them to stand up for themselves, but we also want them to be caring and compassionate. Good for you guys on having such enlightening dinner conversation. Some of those comebacks brought back a lot of memories!

Mich

kys said...

I can't stand bullies. You guys did a good job with this. I hope it works.

UBERMOUTH said...

Kids can be little bastards to each other. :)

Loved the falling off the dinosaur comeback.

Beth said...

Oh, I feel you, sister. Spencer came home the other day and said that one of the kids in his class smashed his block house and then tried to kick him out on the playground. It was everything I could do not to find out the kid's address and show up at his door like a total, raving, lunatic to loom over him and scare the hell out of him for picking on my little guy. We sure do want to protect them, eh? Hang in there!

angelina la dawn said...

love the picture! what a trip down memory lane :)

Tami G said...

YOU my friend are a kick ass mommy!
what great come backs...
and bless his little heart, I sure hope he feels better now

Tami G

Karen said...

I had a bully as a kid, although, looking back on it now I probably would have made fun of me too.

But seriously, totally with ya. Kids need to be able to defend themselves and it's much better if they can do it with a pithy come back than with a fierce right hook.

Thank you so much for stopping by on my SITS day last week! It was great to have ya!

Moooooog35 said...

That's why my kids do karate.

So when bullies come up, they can just knife hand them to the throat.

Kids are cute.

Raoulysgirl said...

Bullies suck. It's worse when you have a super-sensitive child.

I have one of those husbands, too. His answer when our daughter feels picked on?

He wants to beat the crap out of the kid's dad.

Yeah...that'll help.