Nanny nanny boo boo

Remember last week when Griffin came down with a handful of neuroses? Well, I got to the bottom of it. Earlier this week my little scaredy cat and I had a very interesting conversation in the car. It went like this-

G:"Mom?"
Me: "Yeah?"
G: "Do Moms ever sell their kids?"
Me: "Uh, no...where did you hear that?"
G: "An older girl on the playground told me that you were going to sell me!" (crying)
Me: "Honey...I would never sell you. That's just silly."

There were hugs and tears and assurances on my part that I am not in the market to sell any of my kids.

This opened the door to a family conversation later at the dinner table. My husband is a bad ass. I'll just go ahead and say it. He was the kid on the playground that beat the crap out of older kids because they were picking on his big brother. He can throw down and has a fierce instinct to protect his children. I always feel safe with my man around. I decided the moment that I knew that we were having a boy that I would let Roger handle any problems on the playground that our son may have. I'm a lover not a fighter.

Yet, as we both sat explaining to our sweet 4 year old the concept of a bully and how to handle it, I totally got into the spirit and we taught him some pretty classic comebacks. Things like...

"So funny I forgot to laugh!"

"See ya wouldn't wanna be ya!"

"That's so old the last time I heard that I fell of my dinosaur!"

"You're ugly and yo mama dresses you funny!"

After we role played with him a bit and had him giggling at these comebacks I could see his confidence returning. In the end though, we told him just to walk away from any mean kids. We told him that sometimes older kids think that they are cool and that making little kids cry makes them feel cooler. The best revenge is to not let them know that they made you sad. That way, they won't feel so cool. If that doesn't work then go tell the teacher and if that doesn't work you come and tell dad. We all know what happens if dad gets involved, some mean little girl will end up crying her eyeballs out on the monkey bars.

So now my son is starting to learn his life lessons. As a mom, I want to protect him from the nasty girls and mean boys of the world. We can't shelter him though, the sooner he learns how to handle himself on the playground the better. The more he learns to face and overcome his fears, the stronger he will get. If he is anything like my husband was, I think that I better prepare myself to have many visits to the principals office cause Griffin gave some kid a black eye.

The mean kids of the world better watch out!