Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Stay at Home Mom Chronicles: Bribery and chaos.

I'm realizing that my days around here seem to run together.
Ordinary moments unfold around me daily
and I need to stop and relish in them.
One day, my boys will be out living life
and I will miss these everyday experiences.

So, I am taking the time to document
the simple moments that pass between us.
I'm calling this little collection of memories
The Stay At Home Mom Chronicles.

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4:00 pm Bribing my kid so that
I can talk on the phone in peace.


Mommy likes to talk on the phone sometimes.
I have some very dear girlfriends that
live near and far that I try to chat with pretty regularly.
I need it for my sanity.

Of course, Griffin uses that time
to try to get my attention at all costs.
I have learned that if I want to
talk in peace that a good ol' fashioned bribe usually does the trick.

I'll turn on the TV and tell him
that he can watch Spongebob for an hour.
He can sit and pretend to live in a pineapple under sea
I don't care...as long as Mommy can talk on the phone.

That usually lasts about 20 minutes
and then he is on my heels again.

He'll say "Hey barnacle head, get off the phone!"
and I instantly regret
letting him watch Spongebob.

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So, I do what any Mom desperate for adult interaction
would do...I bribe him with candy.
I just assume that if his mouth is busy
licking a lollipop then he's too busy to intterupt me.

I shamelessly dole out candy as the hour progresses.
Without missing a beat of the phone conversation I'll say to Griffin...
"Here's some Starbursts, Mommy loves you,
now go on in the living room and let me talk to my friend!"

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He scampers off with a head full of sugar
and as I continue my phone conversation,
chaos breaks out in the living room.
He jumps all over the furniture and
a wild rumpus unfolds in the background
as I try to have a heartfelt phone conversation.

He laughs and yells and I don't even care,
as long as I get some time to chat on the phone.

By the time I finish the conversation and hang up
he usually has stripped down to his
skivvies and looks something like this

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It's a small price to pay for some much needed "me time".
I know that when I look back at the lengths
that I would go to to carve out a minute for myself that
I will smile and remember fondly
the days of bribery and chaos!

13 comments:

w said...

ahhahahahahah! call me.

Erin Bennett Jenkins said...

I love the one of G with a box on his head!

Dee Crowe said...

too cute!

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

LOVE it! Looks like my house, only normally my 3 year old climbs on the counter, finds the cookie stash and doles them out to her sisters. I know what they've been up to when they walk by me with chocolate oreo mustaches!

Oh and the box-on-the head shot is CLASSIC!

Double Wide Mom said...

amazing! And just so you know, bribery continues to be a very acceptable parenting technique through those teenaged and early adult years as well. I love the box with feet. WHere can I get one?

Amy said...

Candy does odd things to little ones doesn't it?

Stripping down to your skivvies??

Imagine if grown ups acted like that;)

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

This is so cute. Thanks for the smile.

Buffi Neal said...

I love your post!!! My son was bugging me to play video games with him the other day and I really would rather stick hot burning embers in my eyes. So then... I get this great idea to bribe my daughter to play with him. I was out a dollar and both kids were happy - small price to pay!!

-Buffi
www.imbuffi.blogspot.com

Kristin said...

I ask the dude if he wants to watch his show...which is the Wiggles or Barney...that usually buys me about ten min. Our lives are so glamorous aren't they? Ah ha ha

Alyssa said...

GREAT post....This is a day in my life. Of course I kick myself afterwards and then promise myself no sugar tomorrow- yeah right that lasts!

Connie R. said...

Love this post!

Sadly, this is exactly where I'm headed -- I already feel guilty for bribing my 11-month-old with fruit puffs!

Renée M. said...

hahahaha! (:
so adorable! (:
but 'Me time' seems to be too risky ;P

Erin said...

this sounds like my house. i can rarely talk on the phone. try to do it at night after kids are abed b/c otherwise too damn hard!