A post about a bevy of the craziest peacocks this side of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Today I am trying to think about funny things.
I need it after the crazy events of yesterday.
So...I'm going to talk about peacocks.
Crazy and insane peacocks.

(photo credit here, I'm too lazy to take my camera to the barn)

There is a bevy of peacocks out at the barn where Griffin takes horseback riding lessons.
These peacocks have served as countless hours of entertainment for me.
There is one peahen (a female peacock) and one HUGE (very proud) male peacock.
They have four teenage boys who don't have their fantastic train of feathers yet,
and one incredibly stupid teenage boy with a plumage
that he constantly raises for inanimate objects.

It's so funny to watch this young whipper snapper of a peacock prance around with his feathers wide open and trembling in an effort to woo things like...a tree or the barn. It's so stupid that once I caught it in a field shaking it's feathers for nothing. He was all into it too. Jumping and prancing all over the place as if to put on a fantastic show for an imaginary girl.
I love that guy.

Equally entertaining is the male peacock that struts for the peahen.
She could care less about him as he tries his hardest to get her attention.
He makes a huge scene and spins in grand circles with his feathers shaking up a storm
as if bad techno music is playing in his mind.
She just turns her back and pecks at the grass as if to yawn at his hilarious display.
The poor fella rarely gets lucky.

The teenagers are out of control.
They run all over the place and chase the peahen.
She tries her hardest to avoid their antics but
all too often falls victim to the gang of boys as they all charge her at once.
She yelps and squawks and scolds them to no end.

Meanwhile, her male suitor is behind them, just shaking his tail feather at her nonstop.
He is relentless and desperate for a little love from that lady.
It's clear that she is over him.
It almost seems as if she hates him.

Somewhere behind the barn, her confused kid is showing off for a bucket.

The peahen seems so annoyed with this idiotic brood of boys that there are moments when I think that I catch her looking at me as we drive away with a look in her eyes that says
"Help a sister out and get me out of here!"

Sometimes I daydream about setting her free with an
elaborate escape plan that involves rope,
a dozen roses, peanut butter, a megaphone, and a U-haul truck.