Monday, July 19, 2010

On day 43 of summer vacation I had a nervous breakdown in front of my children.

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The phone rang and it was my older brother calling from Colorado. As soon as I picked up the phone and said "Hello..." Griffin grabbed a pillow and tried to start a pillow fight with Koen. I nipped it in the bud and tossed Griffin into "Time out" so that I might get a moment to actually have a conversation with my brother. It's become more and more challenging for me to talk on the phone. Koen has given up his morning nap and Griffin turns into a desperate court jester in need of attention the second that he hears the phone ringing.

With Griffin sulking in time out, I set out for at least a 5 minute conversation. About 30 seconds into it, I see Koen climbing up the shelves of his pretend refrigerator and attempting to climb to the top of his Little Tykes kitchen. I scream "KOEN...NO!!!" as the entire play kitchen starts to topple on top of him. I run like a bat out of hell across the room and catch it just in time. My bother says "Okay, you have your hands full, call me back." I mumble about my life being way too insane as we hang up.

Something about that particular moment sent me over the edge. It was caused by a nasty case of summer burnout. The daily grind of taking care of two energetic boys finally took it's toll and I was holding on by a thin thread. I mean, I was deeply insulted by the fact that I couldn't even have a flippin' phone conversation without my home being turned upside down by my kids.

I grabbed both of the boys and ventured outside to our yard that is basically a jungle. My husband hasn't mowed since God knows when. There were weeds, mosquitoes, and yellow jackets all around us. Do you think that I cared? I placed a shovel in Griffin's hand and told him to dig a hole as I nudged him toward a pile of mud and rocks. I handed Koen a stick and showed him how to smack the tree with it. I then proceed to plop down into a pile of weeds and cry my eyeballs out. Yellow jackets swarmed and flew about as I sobbed. The boys became concerned and tried to hug me with grubby little fingers. This made me cry harder. Can't a woman even cry in peace?

Mommy needs a trip the spa or at least a trip to the potty by myself. I'm shocked that I made it 43 days into summer until I had a good old fashioned nervous breakdown. Only 34 days until school starts again and I'll regain my sanity.

26 comments:

Acting Balanced Mom said...

hugs hun! I think you should propose a father/sons day of making the backyard ship shape while you sneak off for some r&r...

LPTrainerMom said...

Hang in there!! Summer is almost over-and if it's any consolation-I think most of us moms are feeling the same way! Hope you get your spa day soon!!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I have been there. It will pass. You just needed to get it out.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I'm impressed you made it 43 days before your breakdown. I had mine much quicker. Hang in there and try to get a spa trip in there.

Dee Crowe said...

ohhh I am giving you a big ole hug here. Up until last week I could not even claim to know what you are going through, because having one child and having her be 8 is truly different...but I got a little taste of having two kids around when I had my grandson here...

Anyway..hang in there...thankfully this summer is going quickly(although sometimes not quickly enough!)

R Montalban said...

Oh poppet, all will turn out ok, it always does.

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

If you have any room in your jungle, I will be right over to cry with you. Not only is it summer and I have 3 kids at home, hubs is a teacher and also home (which sounds deceptively great, but isn't)and last week we all had the stomach bug. I soooooo need a good cry . . . and some chocolate. Join me???

MommyLovesStilettos said...

I totally understand. I am not a SAHM anymore, but I still have my moments after working full time and coming home and feeling rushed to get things done. I have my moments where I just need a good cry to let out all the stressful feelings. I think I had them more when I was a SAHM cause there was just NO break from the kids at all. *HUGS* Everyone needs a moment.

June said...

You made it 43 days without losing it?? That is amazing. I bet I would have only made it 3 days...

Hang in there Momma. I always found the bathroom (with door locked) to be a sanctuary. Sit on the edge of the tub, run the water on high for 5 minutes and don't forget to take your favorite drink in with you!

Sue said...

Oh boy, do I remember the days!

The end of August is on its way...thank heaven. (I think the spa trip sounds like an excellent plan.)

=)

LisaDay said...

Acting Balanced Mom has a great idea there.

LisaDay

pandabox33 said...

43 days ! 43 days is really really good. I don't even have kids and I have fits. I'm sure 43 days will be a huge record for me one day.

Traci said...

Flippin' kids! Lost my sanity last night - just as they're getting ready for bed - sure they had "Mommy nightmares". It happens. Hold tight.
One of my favorite quotes: "Having kids is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain." So true.

Carrie said...

I'm pretty sure my husband would be right there with you. He's not working right now so he gets to be at home 24/7 with both our girls. He is always complaining he can't have a simple phone conversation without one of them dancing around him and trying to get his attention. Which is really bad when he's doing a preliminary phone interview for a job!!

I have mental breakdowns after only a few days with them sometimes they are just INSANELY active (and at the BEST ages. 2 and 4. Yes, that is sarcasm) so you get a daily dose of terrible 2's AND f*cking 4's :)

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

I feel so normal after reading this. I think we have ALL had moments like this (Okay, maybe not Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt because they have like 10 hired nannies and cook and housekeeper) but you know what I mean. Seriously, there are moments when you just gotta have a release and sometimes having a good cry lets it out. Thank goodness these are just moments of slight insanity--just moments in life. The best medicine is to laugh about it, and you have certainly mastered the art of a sense of humor so I think you will be just fine.

p.s. remember the late 80's movie with Steve Martin called Parenthood. That's a good one. It always makes me laugh.

xoxo to you! :)

bigfamilybiglife said...

Awwe... You made me laugh and cry! BTDT!! Hang in there. Summer is almost over.

Mama2Monkeys said...

aww, big huge clean handed virtual hugs, my kids aren't old enough for school yet, but they've had me in tears twice this week. i need more arms, and eyes, i cant imagine when they get bigger and faster.

Erin Bennett Jenkins said...

I now understand your life (but not really) i love you though and wish that we could be together even more.

Neena said...

Carrie, I have never heard of the Fu$*in fours. (sorry for the swears, and what not.) But we are living them with our littleANArulestheroost. (that's her new name) My husband and I can now use this term for a laugh, like, EVERYDAY!

Karen Mortensen said...

Oh my. Hang in there. I remember a little what it was like. Hang in there. It will pass in time.

Laura said...

I've had this moment. I can't wait for fall! Two of them will be in school this time! It will just be the baby & me! And she hardly talks back! Lol! Hope you get a chance for some you time soon!

S♥ said...

Yeah, I definitely think Balanced Mom had a great idea. I'm a single mother of one and I still go nuts sometimes because I have her 24/7/365.

Megan A said...

My kids don't even attend school & I probably feel like doing this on a daily basis....LOL. Hope it gets better for you!

mindy2780 said...

I am so sorry! I have days like that as well and my husband is only working half days right now! Sometimes a good cry really does help. Oh, and a trip to the bathroom alone.
I hope tomorrow is a better day!

dot said...

Aww I feel for ya> Stuff like that happens around here all the time But I wait til my hubby comes home then burst into tears... better dramatic effect LOl. But he calls so he knows what is waiting for him... a disgruntled harpy.

Tracie said...

Been there. (Although not this summer. Yet.)

Hope you felt better after you let it out. These days will pass and they'll both be in school before you know it.