Thursday, August 18, 2011

Despite my twitchy eye...


As I opened the letter from Koen's future preschool my heart sank. "Meet the teacher day" was the following week and biting on it's heels was the first day of school. I glanced over at my sweet 2 year old playing with his tools on the floor and I knew that neither of us were ready.

I wasn't ready.

So, I made the decision to trust my instincts and keep him home with me for one more year. Just one more year to have him here with me. He has the rest of his childhood to spend in a classroom. I am treasuring every moment as even the simplest tasks seem more fun because he is here. A trip to the grocery store is an adventure as we stop to visit the fish tanks. His eyes get big as the gold fish swim up to the filter and dive fast with the current of water. "They having fun, mama!" he squeals with glee.

"So are we kiddo"
I think to myself.

I take him to a gymnastics class once a week and as he jumps down the tumble track with his arms held high over his head, I soak in that image. Before long, he will be off to school and I will miss these simple moments. Like my sweet boy bouncing as I run alongside the trampoline, cheering him on as bounces higher and higher. We fall onto the blue mat at the end and roll around together. His little body wiggles happily in my arms and my life feels so full at that moment.

I made the right decision.

Our favorite book is I am a Bunny. We curl up at nap time in the glider and read the sweet story before he drifts off to sleep. Why would I want to miss this fleeting moment in time? When we get to the page where the bunny blows the dandelion seeds into the air, Koen always takes in a deep breath and pretends to blow onto the page. His little eyes shut tight as he releases his breath and we both silently make a wish.

This is where he is supposed to be.

9 comments:

The Knitty Gritty Homestead said...

HOoray!! I remember you wrestling with this decision awhile back...it's so hard to listen to our intuition, but often, when it comes right down to making the decision, our gut shouts at us. I'm sure you feel a real change in yourself, now that you've made this decision. You'll never regret this time with your little one! My oldest starts Grade One and will be away from me 5 days a week for the first time in our lives...I'm having a hard time making peace with it. But he's excited to go, so I have to let him go...big breath!

Linda D. said...

O magazine (Oprah's print outlet) recently had an entire issue devoted to intuition - how to recognize and follow it. I'm glad you shared the results of trusting your intuition. Those glimpses of Koen's rich little life are so heartwarming!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Glad you are following your intuition. enjoy your time with him. they grow up so fast.

finallyMom@blogspot.com said...

oh i have tears welling in my eyes right now. you're so very lucky to be able to keep him home with you- and i would absolutely do the same with mine if i could. cherish every moment... cherish every stinkin' moment. :)

Katherine said...

I remember this book! I had it when I was a child.

I'm glad that you are happy with your decision. Childhood is going to slip by fast enough as it is.

Andrea said...

Hooray for you.That is really and truly great that you trusted your intuition!

Sue said...

I did exactly the same thing with my youngest, even took it a step further...

He never went to any school at all until kindergarten. And you know what? He did just fine. In fact, he's the one that's in medical school now...so I don't think it hurt his education any (social or otherwise).

=)

scarlet said...

oh how precious is this! I love that you find joy in those little moments, that you go there with him.

BananaSaurusRex said...

Good for you! (And K too.)