The Funnest Dad on Earth

I know that almost every little girl
thinks that their dad is awesome
but how many girls can say that their dad
was Ronald McDonald?

I was the luckiest kid ever
because my dad actually was Ronald McDonald.

He was also
a clown,
mime,
magician,
puppeteer,
public speaker,
and street performer.

His name was 8 Ball the Clown.


See what I mean?
I have the funnest dad
in the history of all dads.

I would often perform with him
and be his trusty assistant
which was SO much fun
because we all know that
I am made of 80% ham.
(ba dump dump)

My favorite memories
are from when he performed for many years
at the Renaissance Festival
and would take me along with him.

After his magic act he would pass a hat around
and say that he needed money for his
pitiful orphan daughter.

Then, like clockwork,
he would point to me
and say
"Look pitiful, dear."

Then I'd make this face...

It was a real crowd pleaser
and tons of change would get tossed into the hat.

Then, we'd count up the loot
and I'd get a cut.

Not a bad day's work, huh?

I also sold Blow Pops,
one for a quarter or three for a dollar.

Most people got three for a dollar,
suckers!


It was such a good gig
that we kept it up for a few years
until I got too old to actually look pitiful.

I cherish the time we spent
together scamming the unsuspecting audience.

Thanks 8 Ball,
you taught me how to be me unabashedly.
My childhood was so much fun because
I could follow in your big red footsteps.
You taught me to see the world
through a clown's eyes.

Not many people can say that.

I love you, Dad.
Happy Father's Day.