I have a stupid ear infection.
This means that my left ear is muffled
to outside noises but vibrating like a mad drum inside my head.
My other ear hears everything amplified,
so I feel like a crazy person.
It doesn't help that my kids won't stop singing
that stupid song
at the top of their lungs.
It doesn't help that when Koen's happy
he just walks around the house singing
about things that he loves in bravado.
"I loOOve to eAtt iCe crEaM!"
"I lOOvE to wAtCH woRd gIRL!"
It doesn't help that the boys
like to bicker over nothing
early in the morning.
Their constant yipping
resounds in my good ear
and beats my brain in the bad ear.
To add insult to injury,
I went to Urgent Care last night
and they gave me a stupid dumb steroid shot
where the sun don't shine.
Now my bum is tender
and even my thigh is sore.
While I'm getting things off my chest,
my husband is the loudest snorer on the planet
and in trying to fall asleep last night
I felt like going all Joe Peschi
when he runs out in his underwear
and shoots a gun in the air to shut up a screeching owl.