Monday, January 31, 2011

Who's the boss? I'll give you a hint, it ain't Tony Danza.


My dad always says that Koen is like a little Bluebird in the morning
because he is so alert and cheerful.
I would say that is a pretty accurate description,
if Bluebirds are bossy drill sergeants.

Every morning my youngest son calls out to me from his crib.
I'll be dreaming lovely dreams about plates of french fries or Bo DuKe
when a small demanding voice pulls me out of my slumber yelling

"Mama, pillow!"

This means that Koen wants me to fetch him from his crib
and bring him onto my pillow with me.
This is a last ditch effort for me to grab
a few more minutes of sleep before we get up for the day.
I stumble to him and he demands "Pillow" the moment that he sees me.

I am a slow starter in the morning and my poor sleep deprived brain
needs at least 15 minutes of gazing into space before I can function.
So, onto my pillow Koen and I go while my groggy brain tries to wake up.
We settle in and I always think that we are going to drift off into sleep, then it happens.
He will notice the light on the alarm clock
that usually says some ungodly hour, like, 5:45 am.

Now, Koen has a very far reaching vocabulary
and I should know because from the moment he notices the light on my clock
until my brain starts functioning, he runs through almost his entire lexicon.

Here is how the first 15 minutes of my day unfolds with Koen on my pillow.

"Clock, mama, oh light!"
"Light on , mama?"
"Mama, (grabbing my hand) light on."

I stumble out of bed as he dashes into the hallway.

"Read, mama."
(Pulling my hand into his room)
"Light on, read."
"Night night moon, read."

I turn on the light as he grabs his book
and we both plop onto the rocking chair as I yawn
and flip on the reading lamp.

"Move, mama"
"Sit, read, night night moon."

He scoots off my lap and pulls me out of the chair
then puts up his arms for to put him in the chair to read Goodnight Moon.
I do so and then curl up in a ball on the floor.

"No, mama, sit"
He wants me to sit up while he reads the book in the chair.
I sit up and stare into space while he flips through the book.
For a brief moment I think that I might get
to drift off into la la land
when all of a sudden I hear...

"Food, eat, wet."

This means he is hungry and also needs a diaper change.
We change his diaper while I wipe the slobber off my chin
and the whole time he is yelling

I follow him in a daze as he scampers into the living room.
"Juice, mama."
"Food, eat!"

I put him in his booster seat and go to get him breakfast.

"Cereal, mama."

I can't move fast enough.
I kind of want to cry.
Finally, I give him his juice and breakfast.
I sit and yawn and scratch my head.

"Tank ew, mama."
Which in bossy 22 month old language means

"Thank you, mom."

He is totally the boss of me for the first 15 minutes of the day.
I'm just too sleepy to defend myself.

I need a sleepcation
where babies aren't allowed
and there is no alarm clock to be found.


R Montalban said...

You poor lovely, but I can't help but smile and know it will be a memory treasured.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like my oldest when he was that age. Hate to tell you this but he still bosses us all around. He does sleep in a little bit now which makes it more tolerable.

Dixie Mom said...

You dream of Bo too? J/K...I really don't. :)
Ah, don't you wish he needed an extra 15 minutes to wake up?
I had a kid kinda like that. I miss the bossiness now but back then it made me pretty tired.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I could use a sleepcation too. I have a bossy 3 year too.

Katherine said...

A sleepcation sounds delightful!

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

a sleepcation is EXACTLY what we need. oh my goodness you described it so well. Why are they all so bossy in the morning? I've often wondered if it was just my children. :)

Stephanie K. said...

I laughed so hard at this because my daughter is also 22 months and this is pretty much EXACTLY the tune of mornings in my house. I run around the kitchen being shouted at by a tiny dictator, and a small part of my brain wonders why I'm allowing myself to be tyrannized...even though I know that serving her needs will earn me a peaceful cup of coffee. Mommy. Wead. Book. Dit down. My BOOTTLLLEE...the whine gets me every time. I. Just. Want. It. To. Stop.
Thanks for the feeling of solidarity this post gave me!

Sue said...

I remember it well.

And yes, you need a sleepcation. I definitely used to make sure I got to take those once in awhile.


risa bug said...

i cover the clock light when i bring ella into the room - this can be the difference between waking up and another (potential) hour of sleep. who needs to know the time when it's bloody early?!?

Anika said...

From an outsider's perspective this is the sweetest thing ever.

Courtney said...

I kinda want to say this is sweet! ;o)

But sorry you don't get to sleep longer!

singedwingangel said...

Aww I think it is sweet too. And yet I understand your exhaustion, we women need that stretch and yawn and cat nap moment to just wake up .