Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Thoughts on Motherhood : Life's an Hourglass.

My heart is heavy for the people of Japan. I see all of the horrible images and my brain stumbles to process the gravity of it all. It will hit me at the strangest times. Last night I was drawing a bath for Koen and as I held my hand beneath the warm flowing water, I thought of all the families in Japan that don't have running water.

As I bathed my baby beneath an overhead heater, I thought of all the Japanese mothers that are in shelters,scared and trying their hardest to keep their children clean and warm.
To imagine dealing with the earthquake, tsunami, aftershocks, and now nuclear fears makes
me feel so sad for the weary families. My heart instantly swells with sadness.

As Koen played in the bath,
his innocence seemed to reflect from the soapy water
that he floated in and I suddenly wanted to cry.
His little bath toys bobbed around him
as he poured water from one toy to the next and my thoughts drifted.

I can hardly read the news these days without a sense of dread.
The tension in the Middle East, our Nation's dependency on oil, the state of the environment, all of it overwhelms me. With the accessibility of the media, all of the information bombards me and infiltrates my anxious mind.

What kind of world will be here for my children to live in as adults?

The truth is that tragedy can strike any of us at any time.
There is so much in this world that it is out of my control.
I've decided that my life is not made up of the headlines that I read or the images that the media presents to me. My task is to be brave amidst all the uncertainty that is unfolding around me. I must create the world that I want my children to live in.

All that I can do is to live a life that is full of gratitude.
To treasure every moment that I am given on this earth with my loved ones
and to make sure that the world that I create here in my home is safe.
That we all can fall asleep and feel loved and secure no matter
what is happening out there in the big bad world.
That we wake up in the morning and go about our day, injecting it with love.
To stay true to who I am no matter how unsettling the world gets.

As I swooped Koen out of the bath and wrapped him up in a big fluffy towel, he nuzzled his wet little nose into my shoulder. We hugged a soggy hug and I lifted a prayer.
I said a prayer for all the Mothers in Japan that held their babies tight.
I said a prayer of gratitude for my full and beautiful life.
Lastly, I said a prayer for Mother Earth, that we would all learn to take better care of her
in hopes that the earth will be gentle with us.

Later, after I had kissed Griffin goodnight and Koen and I snuggled
in the rocking chair to settle down for bed, I sang him this song.
As we swayed back in forth I found comfort in the words,
I was singing it to the both of us.


Sue said...

Amen, Leigh.

And I am liking Mindy Gledhill more all the time.


Caroline Ray said...

I love this song. You and I are thinking so much alike. I wish there was something I could do other than donate money. I just had friends move to Athens, Georgia! I hope Georgia takes care of them.

Anika said...

Beautiful post Leigh. I feel the same exact way. Being a mother now has put things in a new perspective of how to live in the now to prepare for an unknown future. I do hope that because of this horrible catastrophe the world can come together and work towards these same hopes you express in your post.
Xs and Os to you and yours.

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

The Japanese people have such strength and dignity. I admire them so. I have also found it hard to read the paper and see the images on TV...especially as this nuclear plant continues to become problematic. It hurts my heart to feel helpless and watch others suffer.
Our world becomes a smaller place as we become more connected and aware of those who share this planet with us. Being married to a naturalized citizen, I can tell you that as Americans, we often have the reputation of not being as aware about the world that surrounds us. Thank you for shining a light this morning on others in need around the world.

kaori said...

Thanks, Leigh. That was beautiful. I cannot watch the footage without bursting into tears myself. Thankfully, none of my family is immediately affected but it breaks my heart to think that I'm watching people die when I watch the tsunami videos. That stuffed animal in the front is called "doraemon". We have one as well. He's a robotic cat without ears who can pull any gadget out of his pouch to solve any problem. If only it was that easy.

Melissa said...

Thank you for this post.

Mel said...

this post made me cry. so beautiful. and i love this song.