Thursday, September 29, 2011

How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Pumpkin

So I got all smarty pants yesterday and for some reason
decided that I wanted to start
a new "How to" series on my blog.

So here is the first in a series
of what will probably be
really bad ideas.

How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Pumpkin

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Step 1: Drag your kids to Walmart (with good intentions).
While there you will need to pick up

*A pumpkin
*The cheapest black spray paint they have
*Tape
*Doilies
*A Sharpie

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Step 2: Tape a doily to the pumpkin.
At this point you should have high hopes
that a whimsical pattern will appear on the pumpkin.
Take a moment to feel super creative and smart.

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Step 3: Spray paint the crap out of the doily.
Be sure to hold the spray paint can way too close to the pumpkin.

Also, let your fingers get in the way
of the paint as it sprays
so that you get a ton of smelly black paint
on your fingers and under your fingernails.

Start to feel unsure about your little project being successful.

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Step 4: Remove the doily to uncover
what could be the ugliest pumpkin
ever to be created.

Flip pumpkin to other side
in an attempt to try again.

Repeat steps 2-4.

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Step 5: Draw a face with a Sharpie
in an effort to fix the ugliness.

Accept that you just created a pumpkin that
looks like it has some sort of disease.

Give up dreams of being the next Martha Stewart.


Linking up to...

11 comments:

Andrea said...

Now in Steo 3...do you recommend having someone else spray the paint so you can get it on both hands at once, or does the mess easily travel during solo work? I have to say that the face you drew is so stinking adorable that I forgot about everything else!

Linda D. said...

LOL until tears rolled down my face! I look forward to more adventures in "How to" crafts!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I think you saved it with the cute face.

Sue said...

Actually, I think the thing looks cool!

(Against all odds...)

;)

BananaSaurusRex said...

Don't take this the wrong way, but I love you.

April said...

I do this kind of crap all the time. Right down to the spray painted fingernails.

mrsmaynard said...

Awesome :) thanks for the laugh.

Sarah said...

Sounds like what happened to me last year. ;)

elastamom.com said...

Thank you, Leigh, for making me feel better. This is what always happens to me when I try to be crafty!

Caroline said...

Ha! I LIKE it! I really like it! I think you have more Martha in you than you think!

This post (and this new series) make me love you even more, Leigh. If that is even possible!

Blogger Broadcast said...

well, I think I can do that. so many pumpkins are ruined each year and throw out for Halloween it's kind of sad.