Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Motherhood and milestones

It's amazing to me how there are times in motherhood where I coast a bit. The status quo is good. People are eating from every food group. No one is having nightmares. Everyone's clothes are just the right size and all is happy and normal in my home. Then, suddenly, things start to shift with my children. The baby rolls over and we all clap in celebration. My 4 year old may try a new food and we all jump for joy.

Over the last month or so, Griffin has taken a developmental leap. He's had growing pains and we've many discussions about the looming fate of death and all of the fears that manifest from that. He's had a bully on the playground torture him with taunts and we have had many talks about that as well. It amazes me the depth that my son has.

Yesterday we were playing ball together when he suddenly grew quiet and look sad. I asked him what was wrong and his response was so heartbreakingly beautiful that it floored me. He said "I'm sad because I will miss this when I'm an old man." His eyes welled up with tears and I just sat down and he crawled into my lap. It was all I could do not to cry with him. I just can't believe that a four year old would have that much insight. I feel the exact same way. I will miss all of this too. The struggles and the triumphs. I will miss the times when I scour the Internet to find just the right book to gently help him understand death. I will miss sitting on the couch with him and helping him understand his own emotions. I will miss playing cops and robbers with him in the front yard.

I can feel him changing by the minute. My sweet 4 year old is almost 5 and as he reaches these emotional milestones, I must change with him. I must let go a bit and give him space to be independent. I need to give him the tools to overcome things on his own. He needs to discover his own strengths. I will be there for him with a hug when he needs it. We will grow together. I told him that we need to enjoy the present because there will be so much for him to remember fondly when he is an old man. It's humbling when your child teaches you a lesson because I need to learn this too. The art of living for the moment,

and in the midst of all of this...



Look who's sitting up!

21 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

My six year old son was complaining that the dog didn't kiss him this morning.

When the dog jumped on him and knocked him to the ground, he looked at me and said:

"I stand corrected."

I swear that kid is 20.

singedwingangel said...

Aww man why do you ladies insist on making me weepy eyed every morning??
THAT right there is why Jesus said we are to retain the minds of children.. they realize the preciousness in EVERY second of every day and that tomorrow it may not happen again.. They just Get it..

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Isn't it amazing. Beautiful post.

Andrea said...

It all seems to fly by in the blink of an eye. It seems like yesterday when my now grown kids were crawling on the floor and cuddling with me.
Enjoy every minute.
Blessings, andrea

Daffy said...

make it slow down.....plllllleeease! I'll have you know this post is the pebble that brought the down the dam. It's gonna be your fault I look like the Bride of Frankenstien all day with my mascara now parading as lip liner. I had one of the most difficult mornings in a long time leaving my girlie off with her sitter....sucks ass and makes me damn cranky....

I love the sitting stage. It gives them a whole new view on the world!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

crying in the morning is not the way I expected to start my day. Tyler has a lot of the same issues with death and his haven't been calmed yet.

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Oh, beautiful post. Beautiful child. You have an old soul... :)

Tami G said...

sniff sniff
what a beautiful way you have with words :)
sweet!
It's been a long time since I have seen 'baby days' (14 years actually) and being 33 and still not even dating much less married, I'm afraid I may never see another one...
sniff sniff

So I'll just live vicariously through your precious G growing into his own.....

Tracie said...

Awwwww so so so cute!!

Erin said...

Griffin's tears and heartfelt thoughts just made me burst into tears. How incredible a moment for the two of you. Thank you for writing about it here. And for making me cry!

tori said...

what a sweet sensative little boy you have...he will make a great husband and father someday. Oh no! don't think that far ahead!

VandyJ said...

My husband and I are always reminded to stop and enjoy the little things by our kids. Our six year old is still coming to grips with the whole death thing. He says the oddest things about it at the oddest times. It really makes you think.
And after sitting up movement is not far off. Enjoy having him stay where you put him for a while longer. My youngest is crawling and into everything. They are so fun!

T. said...

Stopping by from SITS to say hello! Great pics on your blog! Are your little ones excited for Turkey day?
Fellow SITSta,
T.

2 Toddlers and Me said...

He sounds so sweet and it sounds like you are doing a great job helping him work through these things.

Great picture too. Exciting stuff!

Raoulysgirl said...

I would type more of a response, but I can't see through tears...so...

Great post!!!

Alicia said...

nooo!! why do they have to grow up?? my oldest will be 6 next week and i'm having a serious case of denial! but man...that picture is too cute!

UBERMOUTH said...

Incredible. Your son is a genius and a very sensitive soul. You must be so proud of him!

kys said...

I sense a little writer in the making. And how cute is that baby???

The Wifey said...

*sigh*
This is such a beautiful and yet depressing post, ya know? My little one is not yet five months and sitting up, and now she's working on this crawling thing.

I'm only 19! Someone find the pause button already, please.

Joy said...

aw, so sweet! And congrats on Koen sitting up!

Danielle said...

Your son is wise beyond his years. It is sweet. And OMG the little one is adorable!