Disclaimer: Sorry this post is longer than usual. This is free therapy for me. Now, on with session.
Me (#28) on the day that I tried out for my school dance team and mere moments before I found out that I didn't make it and then felt so rejected that I wanted to drop out of school but that's not what this post is about. That's a whole other therapy session just waiting to surface. Also, I might have played with the photo just a bit in Photobucket to protect the identity of a certain someone.
I'm not going to name names in this post but one of the girls in the above picture made my Eighth grade school year a living hell. Middle school is hard enough but this young lady (I'm not going to tell you which one it was, jeez stop asking, would ya?) and I had a an epic fight that eventually landed me excommunicated from the popular table in the cafeteria. In retrospect, I totally deserved it.
So, to protect the innocent, let's call this girl Sarah. Sarah and I had been friends since third grade and lived one neighborhood away from each other. We would get together and have sleepovers during the summer. Well, somehow, in Eighth grade we found ourselves hanging with the popular crowd. Really this just meant that we sat at a table and ate lunch near a bunch of pretty girls that said the word "Like" alot. Well, we became friends with another girl. We'll call her Sally.
Me, Sarah, and Sally were BFF's until I opened my big mouth. I was a bit of a gossip and I would say bad things about Sarah to Sally. Then Sally would talk bad about Sarah and then I would go and report back to Sarah what Sally had said. It was a fantastic way to stir up some drama. Well, Sarah and Sally compared notes and totally cornered me on a three way call. That's right...I got caught talking smack on the phone and they got pissed.
The fallout was unbearable. I was ostracized from the popular table. They told everyone that mattered at school about what a two faced brat I had been. People whispered and pointed at me when I walked by. I was sad, alone, and received nasty notes in my locker. I was like Ronny Miller in the movie
Can't Buy Me Love when everyone found out that he had bought his popularity from Cindi Mancini and he was forced to sit all alone during lunch. Man, that's a great movie.
Anyway, it got so bad that I would come home crying after school and eventually had to fess up to my mom about what had happened. She did what any other red blooded mom would do and organized a meeting with all of the parents of the two preteen culprits, her, my dad, the janitor, the school nurse, and the school guidance counselor. Okay, the janitor and the school nurse weren't invited but the point is, it was mortifying.
Sarah and Sally begrudgingly shook my hand and made fake apologies with their eyes shooting darts into my soul. The nasty notes stopped, they quit talking bad about me, and eventually it settled down. I found a new group of friends who did not sit at the popular table but were really awesome and loyal friends. The rest of my Eighth grade year kicked ass and during my sophomore year in high school, me and Sarah could be in the same room and actually smile at each other. Hence, the photo up there.
I learned so much from that nasty fight. It made a huge impression on me and is a landmark from my adolescence.
Why am I even telling you about this? I recently found Sarah on Facebook. I quickly sent her an invitation be my friend and sent her this little message...
"Wow...you look great! Remember our huge fight in 8th grade? I deserved it. I had a big mouth."
A few days went by and then I got this reply from her
"Hey to you woman!!! Honestly, I don't remember the fight but so glad to hear from you. Where are you now? What's going on in your world?"
What? She can't remember the fight? Not just any fight but the epic fight of 1988 that sent me spiraling into a world of self doubt. A fight so huge that I cried myself to sleep night after night.
Wow!
I mean, this just goes to show that what may seem huge to me now will be a mere memory at some point in the future. Talk about a life lesson that just keeps on giving. I have learned so much from Sarah and she may never even realize it. I learned to be a more loyal friend. I learned to be careful about what I say to people or about people. Even now, at the ripe age of 35, I just learned that it's best to let the past go and live in the moment and that that moment may seem huge now but really it's all just fleeting.
It's astounding to me that 22 years later,
I'm still growing from that one mistake that I made.
