Operation: Pin Up Girl

I am the queen of putting make up on in the car. Most days at about 8:20 am you can find find me putting on lipstick as we sit at a stop light on the way to taking Griffin to school. You might see me brushing mascara on at a stop sign as I make my way to the grocery store. I try to put my best face forward because my grandma raised me right when she taught me to never leave the house without at least a little lipstick and mascara on your tired face.

Well, something's rotten in Denmark because the other morning as I drove Griffin to school I pulled up to the stop light, looked in the mirror poised to put on my lipstick, and said aloud "why bother?"

Now, it's been 6 days since I put on lipstick.

I have officially let myself go. I vowed that I would never ever be one of those moms who just quits making an effort to like nice. Somehow, I have ended up at the bottom of my own list. So, it's time to make a new vow to myself. I don't want to look like a haggard old mama, not this girl. No, I want to look like a pin up girl. For that to happen I've got to start thinking and acting like a sex pot. So...I am making a few promises to myself.

I vow to always put on lipstick
BEFORE I walk out the door.
My mom always says
"Feeling a little down?
Put on a little lipstick and you'll feel better!"
She's so right.

I vow to shower more often.
I suppose that this is step one to grooming, huh?
Cat baths are fine but not when you
do it 5 days in a row.
No one likes a stinky lady.
Spritzing Coco Chanel Perfume on your armpits
before you walk out the door
does not count as bathing!

I vow to shave my legs more than once a month.
No self respecting Pin Up Girl has hairy legs.
This goes for all hair upkeep.
I must get my eyebrows waxed, wax my lip,
and (gasp) pluck my chin hairs that are popping out,
they've gotta go too.

I vow to exercise more.
Walking from the couch to the refrigerator
to get another Diet Dr. Pepper
does not count as physical activity.
It's time to bust out my
Denise Austin workout DVD and
get off my lazy ass.
Pin Up Girls do not have huge asses.

I vow to eat better and actually step on the scale.
Admitting there is a problem is the first step.
Then second step will be onto
that cruel scale to access the damage.
A good Pin Up Girl does
not eat 2 chocolate covered doughnuts
while she walks around Walmart.

I vow to spend more time on myself.
The last book I read was
What to Expect in the First Year.
I need to feed my brain.
There is nothing sexier than
a smart girl.

Okay, it's official. Vows have been spoken here today.

I am well on my way to achieving ultimate sexiness.