Monday, August 17, 2009

Ghosts of "the first day of school" past

Today was Griffin's first day of school at Athens Montessori. He did smashingly well and thank God because I was prepared for the absolute worst.

He ran ahead of me to the playground and scouted out his bestest friend in the whole wide world, Oliver. They kicked the soccer ball around like they were team members of Manchester United. I actually had to track him down to get a goodbye kiss.

As I drove home after dropping him off, I felt so proud of him and very pleased with myself. Today was a far cry from what the first day of school normally looks like for us. I reminisced about the last two years of school and smiled at myself in the rear view mirror. We've come a long way baby!

When he was the tender age of two years old and starting preschool, we enrolled him at this sweet little church school. The drop off was painful as he cried and reached for me. I handed him off to the teacher and took shelter in the gymnasium. I would grab random mothers walking by and ask them to peek in at him. "Uh...he's crying, but hang in there, it gets easier" one stranger reported. I sat in the gym and cried my eyeballs out. I was the lone mommy and when they went out to the playground to play, the director let me sit at her desk and watch out a tiny window. Big mistake. He was trying to escape from under the gate. He was kicking. He was screaming. Then, he busted open the gate and ran into the parking lot. His poor teacher chased him in circles and finally snatched him up and hugged him. The director handed me a tissue and told me to go home. I told her to put a pad lock on the playground gate!

Last year was Griffn's first year at Athens Montessori. He cried and yelled all the way to school in the car. Once we arrived, he refused to get out of the car. I mean, he had a death grip on the door frame while I held onto his stiff body and tried to yank him from the car. After I had pried him from the backseat, I carried him onto campus kicking and yelling and snotting all over the place. He then ran away from me across this huge field and I had to run after him. I tackled him and he rolled around in the wet grass like a possessed donkey. All around us, peaceful children were walking calmly to class while their parents looked at us in terror. His teacher heard the commotion and came to the rescue. I then hid in the bushes to try to sneak a peek at him for 45 minutes and eventually left, leaving a trail of tears behind me.

Today was a huge day for us. No tears were shed from either of us. He trotted onto campus like a little lamb playing in the meadow.

I guess that we are both growing up.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Love, insanity, and two kids.


We had been driving for 3 hours and somewhere between the small towns of Camilla and Albany, Georgia...our car turned into a war zone. It had been a long journey to Florida for our vacation and the journey home seemed even longer. Koen was at the end of his little tiny rope and was screaming in the back seat. I kicked off my flip flops, clumsily climbed into the back seat, and squeezed my butt between the two car seats. With one hand propped to hold the pacifier in Koen's mouth and the other arm being held hostage by Griffin (who thinks it's so cool when I sit in the back that he enthusiastically grabs at my arm and kisses it all over, which is sweet but not so easy when you are crammed into that little space) I fought with all of my might not to break down into tears along with Koen.

Little did I know that things would unravel to an even more insane place.

Griffin got in on the action and decided to start screaming too. He put his hands over his ears, closed his eyes, shook his head manically, and yelled "DON'T PANIC GRIFFIN!" over and over at the top of his lungs. The poor kid flips out when Koen freaks out and that is unfortunate for the entire family. Especially when you are all crammed in the car. It takes so much work not to flip out on Griffin for flipping out over Koen who is flipping out because he is just a baby and that's what babies do.

Roger tried to troubleshoot and shouted from the front seat, "Griffin, are you hungry?" Because whenever Griffin is hungry he turns into a drunk frat boy. We have solved many tantrums by simply force feeding him pretzels more than once.

"NO, I'M NOT HUNGRY!" was his response. Meanwhile, Koen had crossed over into exorcist proportions, was bright red, and flailing his arms.

It was, in a word, insane. My heart rate sped up and my head throbbed.

I! Was! Going! To! Freak my freak! Needless to say, none of this madness would make it into our sweet home Movie.

Roger caught my eye in the rear view mirror and smiled the kindest smile. He just shook his head with a slight giggle and mouthed the words "I love you." I let out a sigh and mouthed back, "I love you too." Then we just locked eyes in the reflection and shook our heads and smiled at each other. All of the noise dissolved around me, although both of the children were still screaming. Suddenly, it didn't matter that everything was falling apart. We were in this thing together and in the end, our love would endure all of the tantrums and hardships that come with being parents. As long as we stay connected and don't let the crazy moments divide us, we will be a strong family.

The truth is, that we wanted this life, insanity and all. If we didn't have these children, my life would seem aimless. I realized in that moment what being a family was all about, loving each other no matter what happens. It means laughing at the hard times as well as the funny moments.

We stopped the car and Roger got out with Griffin. They threw rocks into the woods on the side of some no name road we had pulled over on. I saved Koen from his dreaded car seat and nursed him in the car. After we had strapped the children back in and had gotten back on the road, I climbed back into the front seat next to Roger. The children were like little angels in the back seat.

Roger reached over and grabbed my hand. We held hands for miles and miles.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

ROAD TRIP!!!

Here's a sweet little video that I created from our vacation to St. George Island, Florida.
I also submitted it to Project Boo.
Enjoy!



Commander Blast Off saves the day with a toy giraffe!


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Happy list



My list of things that make me wildly happy!
1.When my husband smacks my tooshie while I'm cooking dinner.
2.The movies of Wes Anderson.
3.Hogging out on French fries dipped in Feta dressing.
4.The sounds of cicadas at night.
5.Having a nice long heartfelt phone conversation with a far away friend.
6.Going to a matinee movie in the middle of the day to escape the heat.
7.Rereading the book "Eat, Pray, Love" for the third time.
8.The way my baby erupts into giggles when I say the word "igloo".
9.Exposing my 4 year old to great music. This week, David Bowie.
10.Blue Bell Banana Pudding Ice Cream!

image via PaperTissue

Monday, August 10, 2009

My view

We are back from a delicious trip to St. George Island. Let me tell you, going on a road trip with a 4 month old is an adventure. Being at the beach was tricky too. I would get me and the baby all swim suited up and lathered in sunscreen. I'd pack my beach bag, perch my sun hat on my noggin, and grab Koen to head out on the beach. Almost every time he would need to stay inside. I'd hear a cry that told me "I need a nap!" or "I need another diaper change!" or "Let's stay inside in the air conditioning and just smile and coo at each other, it's hot out there Mom!"

So, of course, Mommy would hang her hat and do as the itty bitty baby requested. I spent most of my time with these views...






We did manage to make it outside a few times. I have a sweet little video that I made that I'll post soon. I also played with my Holga. As soon as those are developed, I'll post some of those too.

Until then, it's back to reality. There are bags to unpack, laundry to do, and school clothes to buy.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Vintage photos

I found this Blog and I draw inspiration from it. When I first clicked on it, I had no idea that the author was a 13 year old girl. She is full of life in a way that only a young girl can be. She lit something in me with this post and I followed her lead.
I rummaged through my old photo files and found these wonderful memories.
Thanks J. Peri for giving me an excuse to revisit old photos.
It was fun to relive so many moments that have been filed away for a very long time.