Monday, August 31, 2009

Field of Dreams

Just last week I rewarded myself with that "I love my own damn blog" award and low and behold I have just received my first award that I did not give to myself. It comes from the amazing lady, Alicia, over at It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy.

It's just like that line from that crappy Kevin Costner movie Field of Dreams when James Earl Jones says "If you build it they will come." I've never seen that movie though cause I find Kevin Costner to be annoying. Except in Dances with Wolves. That's such a good movie when he rides out on the battlefield in slow motion and throws his arms up to the touching music. Man, that's such a great moment.

I digress, this is about me, not stupid Kevin Costner.'s all about me lovin' Alicia for bestowing this award upon me. We recently discovered each other's Blogs and it has been a love affair from Jumpstreet. So I say a big fat thank you to Ms. Alicia for caring enough to send the very best.

Now, the rules for this one are to send this award to 4 bloggers and to tell them why you think they give good blog. Here we go...

The first award is going to Speaking From The Crib and let me tell you a little something about the lady of the house, she is flippin' hilarious. This is another Blog that I recently stumbled upon and I'm so glad that I did. She delivers.

The second award is going to The Joys of My Splintered Life in Smalltown because she is super clever. She also took the time to congratulate me on my award that I gave to myself and I think that her bliggidy blog deserves an award too.

The third award goes to Tesa over at Two Toddlers and Me. This girl is so sweet and she loves her kids so much. It's fun to read about her adventures. Plus...she gave me props for creating the "I love my own damn blog" award and now I'm sending the props back to her!

Last but not least, I'm gonna be wild and crazy and send this award right back to Alicia at It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy. I'm absolving her of having to reward 4 more people though. I really dig this chick's Blog. She cracks me up and it seems so effortless for her. So, right back at ya babe!

So there you have it, just like that I have been initiated into the cool kids club. Not that I care about being cool or anything.

Who am I kidding? I am desperate for approval.


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Saturday, August 29, 2009

Back To the Future Part XXXIV

A friend of mine recently posted this photo of me on Facebook. I was 16 years old when it was taken and it's hard to believe that it's been 18 years since I stood beneath that tree during lunch period in the courtyard. That was a lifetime ago.

I look at this photo and wonder if I had a Back To the Future moment and that girl could see me now, what she would think of who I've become? Would she climb back into the Delorean traumatized and vowing to do everything differently or would she wake up in her pink canopy bed and hope that the beautiful future that she saw for herself wasn't just a dream? Would she be proud of the ladybug tattoo I got when I was 18? Would she hate my haircut that I hate now that I'm trying to grow out? Would she be shocked to see that I am no longer wearing blood red lipstick and Doc Martins? I swore that I would wear Doc Martins until the day I died. Would she see my two boys and marvel at how fantastic they are?

I think that as she hid in my hall closet (because we all know from watching Back to the Future that the me from the past cannot, under any circumstances, be seen by the future me) that she would be shocked to watch me successfully cook dinner for my family. She would gasp at the image of me folding laundry and putting it away without anyone forcing me to do it. She would see my husband and have to force herself from running out of her hiding place and giving him a big o'l kiss. I think that she would watch me rocking my baby to sleep or reading a book to Griffin and cry with joy that she would one day become a Mother.

Yeah...I think that I would make that young girl proud.

Now I understand!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Captain McBarfypants and his crazy mommy.

Being sick is like a party at our house. Especially if you throw up. You get a bed made just for you on the couch. You get Popsicles for every meal. You get to watch TV all day nonstop so that you don't run around the house full of nervous energy and make yourself puke again. Yeah, it's super fun to be sick.

Griffin came down with a tummy bug last night. I stumbled into the back bedroom with Koen (if you are new to this blog read this post about sleeping arrangements in our house) at 5 am to see that something was up. The light was on in the bathroom shining a bright light onto Griffin's empty bed, there was a pile of towels on the bathroom floor, once in our bedroom I saw that the comforter to our bed was on the floor. Roger and Griffin were both sleeping under a random sheet that Roger had grabbed from the linen closet. I shook Roger awake and he sleepily said "it was a rough night." I grabbed the baby and ran like hell back to the nursery at the other end of the house.

Okay, here comes a confession, I am crazy these days when it comes to germs. This whole over inflated swine flu crap has gotten me all mixed up. Plus, I think that I have a touch of postpartum anxiety. I have spooky images of my children succumbing to various diseases dancing in my head. My tummy spins and my heart rate speeds up just at the thought of it. This isn't normal. If you add a paranoid mommy with the media coverage of the swine flu it equals me going nutty.

To make matters worse, Koen has a cold as well. This is the first time that I have had 2 sick kids at the same time. I immediately wanted to quarantine Griffin. I was terrified of the thought of Koen catching whatever nasty illness Griffin had come down with. I felt overwhelmed and incapable of nursing two kids at once. I started to panic.

Then, at 6 am, with Koen crying pathetically in my arms, I decided that both of my children were dying of the swine flu. I started crying and getting all scared. It was horrible.

At 8 am, after obsessively looking up The Swine Flu on Google, I convinced myself that I had it too (Keep in mind that I have zero symptoms) and that we were all going to die. It's going around Athens at an alarming rate, and we had caught it.

Thank God I talked to the nurse at the pediatrician's office and she talked me down off the ledge. We all did not have the swine flu. Griffin has a very mild tummy bug that is going around. If Koen gets it, he will be cranky for two days and then be fine. I felt a little bit better.

I washed my hands over 150 times today, I'm sure. I would not let the kids get anywhere near each other. I was a nervous wreck all day, checking temperatures and shoving Tylenol into their unsuspecting mouths.

It took two more worried calls to the pediatricians office (yes, I am THAT mom) to convince me that we all are going to be okay. Even if we did get the Swine Flu, we are all healthy peeps over here. We would feel nasty and gross and then recuperate.

At 4 pm I finally accepted that no one was dying.

The Poetry Project: Day 7

{image via Restart my Heart}

The Expedition

by Leigh Hewett

Like a brave explorer
heading into uncharted territory
I went on a quest for words.
I packed my provisions
and pointed my compass toward
the poetry from my past.
With a mission to find the poet
I had lost along the way.

Somehow in my search,
I learned to quit looking
and decided to call off the chase.
A silent gap between thoughts
echoed until my brain
settled slowly into a blue calm.

With a deep awareness
I detached myself from poetry
and had zero doubt that
the words lived within.

An effortless ease took over
and my deep desire
brought the poem to me.


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Poetry Project: Day 6

{image via Le Love}

5 years

by Leigh Hewett

I was a young poet
That yearned for love
Every beat of my hopeful heart
Called out for you.

Amazing really,
All of the blooming metaphors
and fragrant similes
arranged perfectly
Every flowering word
was written because I longed for you.

Now I am loved.
Beautifully loved
beyond any devotion my
Poet's heart could have imagined.

You are the one
that lifted my words from the paper.

Because of you
my life is a poem in motion.


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Poetry Project: Day 5

{image via Restart my Heart}

All Alone
by Leigh Hewett

I love to drift off to sleep
where I can lay still except for
a wink as thoughts flip
and my eyelashes brush my cheek
and it's just me.

With dry pillows and sleepy sheets
Where the burden of dreams
sits heavy in my head.

As if comfort could reside
within my own spirit.

I trust myself completely
when I am asleep.


Monday, August 24, 2009

My fancy award!

I am interrupting The Poetry Project to announce a very special award that I am the recipient of. I have been noticing these sweet awards popping up on other Blogs. Awards like..."The Best Mommy Blogger on the Block Award" or "You're super duper shmooper cool cause I am giving you this" award.

Well, I've grown tired of waiting around for someone to validate my blogging abilities. It's just not like me to sit and wait for people to notice me.

As a little girl, if I knew that a bunch of kids were playing without me, I would strategically walk by and act all surprised to see them. Then, I would simply invite myself over to play. Sure, they may have been annoyed at first, but after they realized how much more fun they were having because I was there, everyone was happy.

So in that same can do spirit, I have created a Blog Award like non other. It's the "I love my own damn blog" award. Here are the rules.

Post the button on your Blog and then write three things that you love about yourself. Then, select three Bloggers that you respect and invite them to come and admire your award.
It's that simple.

So, without further ado...

Three things that I love about me.
1. I have a very sexy brain.
2. I have an uncanny ability to scout out synchronicity in my life.
3. I can sing a very rousing rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart at any Karaoke jam. Be it out in public or just a friend's living room, I rock the house!

Feel free to award yourself with this prestigious honor!


Sunday, August 23, 2009

My prestigious award!

I am interrupting The Poetry Project to announce a very special award that I am the recipient of. I have been noticing these sweet awards popping up on other Blogs. Awards like..."The Best Mommy Blogger on the Block Award" or "You're super duper shmooper cool cause I am giving you this" award.

Well, I've grown tired of waiting around for someone to validate my blogging abilities. It's just not like me to sit and wait for people to notice me.

As a little girl, if I knew that a bunch of kids were playing without me, I would strategically walk by and act all surprised to see them. Then, I would simply invite myself over to play. Sure, they may have been annoyed at first, but after they realized how much more fun they were having because I was there, everyone was happy.

In high school if I didn't have a date for the Homecoming dance, I would gather up all the other dateless girls and we would have a "Homecoming Rejects" party at my house. We would get all hopped up on sugar and then toilet paper cute boys houses while they were at the dance. It was so much more fun than having some dude rub his "manhood" on your thigh while you slow danced to The Cure.

So in that same can do spirit, I have created a Blog Award like non other. It's the "I love my own damn blog" award. Here are the rules.

Post the button on your Blog and then write three things that you love about yourself. Then, select three Bloggers that you respect and invite them to come and admire your award.
It's that simple.

So, without further ado...

Three things that I love about me.
1. I have a very sexy brain.
2. I can tell you anything you want to know about a celebrity that was featured in People Magazine this week.
3. I can sing a very rousing rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart at any Karaoke jam. Be it out in public or just a friend's living, I rock the house!

Feel free to award yourself with this prestigious honor!

The Poetry Project: Day 4

Let go
By Leigh Hewett

I write this for no one
not even me anymore
but more a method of
clearing my head.

I remember so much
so many places escape
before I can go back
but not quick enough
to dodge the ache

of someone or something
that slipped away.
Like a belief
or a dependency
or an experience
that managed to dig in too far.

Growth demands
that I let these things go
or I'll slowly shrink
until eventually my shoes
fall off and I can't run away.


The Poetry Project: Day 3

{image via Fine Art America}

New Orleans

by Leigh Hewett

We shook the city until all the stars
fell with passion into our cocktails
and we gulped down all of the dirty
lights the street had to offer.

The restless night sent us searching for trouble
and with you by my side
we searched every last corner.

There is so much freedom in loving you
I thought to myself
as the music pushed through your hair.

I felt so young
and so fresh
and so lucky
to have found a simple surprise
in you.


Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Poetry Project: Day 2

Georgia NightS
by Leigh Hewett

I push the sun
with the tip of my finger
as it slips slowly down
into the fold of the earth.

I squeeze the sky
as the leftover sunset
drips on my face
and the moon turns around
to sneeze the stars.

I grab the sky
and wrap it's darkness
around me to sleep.

The stars look
down at me
with a million loving eyes.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Poetry Project: Day 1

{image via LeLove}

Weekend Epiphanies

by Leigh Hewett

Thanks for coming to me
When my eyes were sticky with rest
Crawling into bed with me
Your face had dreams on it
Your breath like a lazy yawn on my lips.

I wrote poems in my head about you
While you were trying so hard
To deconstruct walls.
My tongue stayed safely behind my lips
as all of the hopeful words escaped
and I granted you a hopeful kiss.

Back in your bed
on my side that you so effortlessly
offered to me,
On Sunday morning
after more than enough sleep
under vulnerable sheets
you turned to face me
and I felt brave beneath your accepting hands.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Introducing...The Poetry Project

A stymied poet's quest to find her words.


Long ago, before I was a wife and before I was a mother, I was a poet.
I wrote poems almost daily.
The words just fell from my fingers to the paper.
It was effortless.

I have volumes of journals full of poems that have only been read by my eyes.
It has been too long since I last took the time to simply sit and write a poem.
So, I'm starting,

The Poetry Project

For the next 6 days I will post a poem each day that I wrote in the past.
Then on the 7th day I will post a new poem that I will write over this week.
I am hoping that reading my old words will inspire me
to search and find all of the poetry that still lives within me.

If you are a poet, feel free to send me a poem that you've written.
I might just post it on these pages.

Maybe together we can weave a masterpiece.

send inspiration to

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Why I am not a movie critic.

Deep within me exists a secret place where I yearn to be a movie critic. Not just any movie critic though, one that is feared by the movers and shakers of Hollywood. I know that in reality, I would actually make a horrible one because I am the most narcissistic movie viewer known to man. My opinion of a film is rarely based on any legitimate criteria other than my mood or how the movie makes me feel about the world and my place in it.

Come with me as I indulge my fantasy and review three films that I watched last weekend.


This movie just appeared on our ON DEMAND menu and we decided to watch it. It had one strike from the beginning and that was that it came out at the Movie Theater long ago and we managed to miss seeing it in the theatre. I think that I was pregnant and as big as a house at the time and had no interest in being in public. I instantly felt like a lame ass with no life because of this. Then, Kiera Knightly wears a really beautiful green dress that she looks fabulous in . I immediately felt pudgy and ungroomed and regretted eating a Whopper for dinner. By the time we were near the end of the movie, I was too tired to watch the last 30 minutes. We turned it off and decided to watch the ending the next night. This made me feel like a loser because it was only 10:30 pm on a Saturday night. By the time we got around to finishing the movie the next night, I just wanted both of them to die because they were young and hot.

Next up...Lars And The Real Girl. Ryan Gosling is pretty hot so I was interested in this movie form the first frame the he popped up in. We also watched this movie while plopped on our big red couch and I started to feel like a loser again for missing my chance to see it in the theatre but then something funny happened and I started to forget how lame I felt. I fought with all of my might to not get too emotionally involved with the characters because it had been a long day and I was just too tired to expend the energy. I cried twice while watching this film but it might have just been because I had woken up at 5am with the baby and was exhausted. Either way, Ryan Gosling is hot. So, I liked this movie.

Finally...Julie and Julia. This movie had an unfair advantage and that was the fact that my Mother invited me to go see it and we left the boys alone with Roger for the first time since Koen's birth. I felt a taste of freedom as the lights dimmed and the previews started. My mom decided that it would be fun if we wore pearls to the movie theater (in honor of Julia Child) so I wore the beautiful strand of pearls that Roger gave me for our 5 year anniversary last year. I felt all dolled up and sparkly. This influenced me to really adore this movie. Meryl Streep is amazing as Julia Child and Amy Adams was adorable. Neither of them made me feel fat and ugly. I instantly could relate to the character of Julie because she was a Blogger too and wished to be a writer just like me. This made me like the movie even more because it was really all about me and my pearls and how pretty I felt and the fact that I was finally seeing a movie at the movie theater instead of at home in my old jammies that are covered in spit up. I didn't feel like a loser anymore and I owe all of that to Julie and Julia.

I'm crafty!


I got all creative and made myself a little button
for my huge following that
consists of 8 readers.

All of the cool kids are doing it.

If you want to support me
in my battle with laundry
just copy and paste the code
onto your layout and wah lah
you will be a cool kid too.

The finer things in life.

Let me start this post by admitting to you that I have no idea why this text is underlined and that I have no idea how to remove it. So, we will pretend that what I am saying is so important that it deserves to be underlined.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I have been reflecting on my post about yearning to share
my childhood toys and memories with a little girl. I realized this morning
that I already share so much with my son
that I enjoyed as a child.
Most of it is candy and TV shows but that's okay...
those are the finer things in life.

So, without even realizing what I was doing, I have shared these wonderful treasures with Griffin.

One of the best books in the world that my Mom read to me often

Sweet Corduroy and his quest for a lost button.

The blue and pink Fun Dip mustache.
(why did the underline go away here? It's a mystery!)

The ever so sticky and delicious Ring Pop

Wacka, Wacka, Wacka

The Boomerang Network has let me share The Jetsons, Richie Rich, and The Smurfs.

Who can resist Fruit Stripe gum?

I had the most brilliant and carefree childhood
and I want so badly to create the same for my boys.
It was full of sweets, kisses, hugs, good books, and Saturday morning cartoons.
I don't need a daughter to pass down a legacy of fun.
Just give me a gas station full of candy
and I'll draw you a map to my childhood days.

For the record, my teenage years were full of poor report cards, being grounded, my phone being taken away from my room because I talked to boys at all hours of the night, and after school detention for tardiness.

On second thought, I guess that goes to show what a kooshy childhood
full of candy and video games can do to a kid.
Ah...who cares?
I'm still gonna spoil my kids rotten with
the finer things in life!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Ghosts of "the first day of school" past

Today was Griffin's first day of school at Athens Montessori. He did smashingly well and thank God because I was prepared for the absolute worst.

He ran ahead of me to the playground and scouted out his bestest friend in the whole wide world, Oliver. They kicked the soccer ball around like they were team members of Manchester United. I actually had to track him down to get a goodbye kiss.

As I drove home after dropping him off, I felt so proud of him and very pleased with myself. Today was a far cry from what the first day of school normally looks like for us. I reminisced about the last two years of school and smiled at myself in the rear view mirror. We've come a long way baby!

When he was the tender age of two years old and starting preschool, we enrolled him at this sweet little church school. The drop off was painful as he cried and reached for me. I handed him off to the teacher and took shelter in the gymnasium. I would grab random mothers walking by and ask them to peek in at him. "Uh...he's crying, but hang in there, it gets easier" one stranger reported. I sat in the gym and cried my eyeballs out. I was the lone mommy and when they went out to the playground to play, the director let me sit at her desk and watch out a tiny window. Big mistake. He was trying to escape from under the gate. He was kicking. He was screaming. Then, he busted open the gate and ran into the parking lot. His poor teacher chased him in circles and finally snatched him up and hugged him. The director handed me a tissue and told me to go home. I told her to put a pad lock on the playground gate!

Last year was Griffn's first year at Athens Montessori. He cried and yelled all the way to school in the car. Once we arrived, he refused to get out of the car. I mean, he had a death grip on the door frame while I held onto his stiff body and tried to yank him from the car. After I had pried him from the backseat, I carried him onto campus kicking and yelling and snotting all over the place. He then ran away from me across this huge field and I had to run after him. I tackled him and he rolled around in the wet grass like a possessed donkey. All around us, peaceful children were walking calmly to class while their parents looked at us in terror. His teacher heard the commotion and came to the rescue. I then hid in the bushes to try to sneak a peek at him for 45 minutes and eventually left, leaving a trail of tears behind me.

Today was a huge day for us. No tears were shed from either of us. He trotted onto campus like a little lamb playing in the meadow.

I guess that we are both growing up.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Love, insanity, and two kids.

We had been driving for 3 hours and somewhere between the small towns of Camilla and Albany, Georgia...our car turned into a war zone. It had been a long journey to Florida for our vacation and the journey home seemed even longer. Koen was at the end of his little tiny rope and was screaming in the back seat. I kicked off my flip flops, clumsily climbed into the back seat, and squeezed my butt between the two car seats. With one hand propped to hold the pacifier in Koen's mouth and the other arm being held hostage by Griffin (who thinks it's so cool when I sit in the back that he enthusiastically grabs at my arm and kisses it all over, which is sweet but not so easy when you are crammed into that little space) I fought with all of my might not to break down into tears along with Koen.

Little did I know that things would unravel to an even more insane place.

Griffin got in on the action and decided to start screaming too. He put his hands over his ears, closed his eyes, shook his head manically, and yelled "DON'T PANIC GRIFFIN!" over and over at the top of his lungs. The poor kid flips out when Koen freaks out and that is unfortunate for the entire family. Especially when you are all crammed in the car. It takes so much work not to flip out on Griffin for flipping out over Koen who is flipping out because he is just a baby and that's what babies do.

Roger tried to troubleshoot and shouted from the front seat, "Griffin, are you hungry?" Because whenever Griffin is hungry he turns into a drunk frat boy. We have solved many tantrums by simply force feeding him pretzels more than once.

"NO, I'M NOT HUNGRY!" was his response. Meanwhile, Koen had crossed over into exorcist proportions, was bright red, and flailing his arms.

It was, in a word, insane. My heart rate sped up and my head throbbed.

I! Was! Going! To! Freak my freak! Needless to say, none of this madness would make it into our sweet home Movie.

Roger caught my eye in the rear view mirror and smiled the kindest smile. He just shook his head with a slight giggle and mouthed the words "I love you." I let out a sigh and mouthed back, "I love you too." Then we just locked eyes in the reflection and shook our heads and smiled at each other. All of the noise dissolved around me, although both of the children were still screaming. Suddenly, it didn't matter that everything was falling apart. We were in this thing together and in the end, our love would endure all of the tantrums and hardships that come with being parents. As long as we stay connected and don't let the crazy moments divide us, we will be a strong family.

The truth is, that we wanted this life, insanity and all. If we didn't have these children, my life would seem aimless. I realized in that moment what being a family was all about, loving each other no matter what happens. It means laughing at the hard times as well as the funny moments.

We stopped the car and Roger got out with Griffin. They threw rocks into the woods on the side of some no name road we had pulled over on. I saved Koen from his dreaded car seat and nursed him in the car. After we had strapped the children back in and had gotten back on the road, I climbed back into the front seat next to Roger. The children were like little angels in the back seat.

Roger reached over and grabbed my hand. We held hands for miles and miles.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Here's a sweet little video that I created from our vacation to St. George Island, Florida.
I also submitted it to Project Boo.

Commander Blast Off saves the day with a toy giraffe!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Happy list

My list of things that make me wildly happy!
1.When my husband smacks my tooshie while I'm cooking dinner.
2.The movies of Wes Anderson.
3.Hogging out on French fries dipped in Feta dressing.
4.The sounds of cicadas at night.
5.Having a nice long heartfelt phone conversation with a far away friend.
6.Going to a matinee movie in the middle of the day to escape the heat.
7.Rereading the book "Eat, Pray, Love" for the third time.
8.The way my baby erupts into giggles when I say the word "igloo".
9.Exposing my 4 year old to great music. This week, David Bowie.
10.Blue Bell Banana Pudding Ice Cream!

image via PaperTissue

Monday, August 10, 2009

My view

We are back from a delicious trip to St. George Island. Let me tell you, going on a road trip with a 4 month old is an adventure. Being at the beach was tricky too. I would get me and the baby all swim suited up and lathered in sunscreen. I'd pack my beach bag, perch my sun hat on my noggin, and grab Koen to head out on the beach. Almost every time he would need to stay inside. I'd hear a cry that told me "I need a nap!" or "I need another diaper change!" or "Let's stay inside in the air conditioning and just smile and coo at each other, it's hot out there Mom!"

So, of course, Mommy would hang her hat and do as the itty bitty baby requested. I spent most of my time with these views...

We did manage to make it outside a few times. I have a sweet little video that I made that I'll post soon. I also played with my Holga. As soon as those are developed, I'll post some of those too.

Until then, it's back to reality. There are bags to unpack, laundry to do, and school clothes to buy.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Vintage photos

I found this Blog and I draw inspiration from it. When I first clicked on it, I had no idea that the author was a 13 year old girl. She is full of life in a way that only a young girl can be. She lit something in me with this post and I followed her lead.
I rummaged through my old photo files and found these wonderful memories.
Thanks J. Peri for giving me an excuse to revisit old photos.
It was fun to relive so many moments that have been filed away for a very long time.