Thursday, May 28, 2009

My afternoon

Koen is napping...
So it's game time with Griffin.

I'm learning that there is enough love to go around.
I think that
I can be a mommy
to two after all!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Napping House

I just love this sweet book about a grandma and her busy bed that she shares with her grandson and various pets. It reminds me of my big bed that is full these days. I had not slept in my huge ol' bed for the last 6 weeks. We set up a twin bed in the nursery for me to co-sleep with Koen on those early days of nursing. Roger gets up every day at 6 am for work and Griffin still crawls into our bed at about 2 am every night. It just didn't seem condusive to successful sleeping and nursing to have us all in one room.
I know that Dr. Phil would trash us for allowing our 4 year old to sleep with us but we love it. We all sleep so well together. Griffin just folds his little body and molds into us all night. It's so sweet to wake up with Griffin's little nose snuggling into my neck. I've missed those nighttime moments with him as I have slumbered at the other end of the house.
Although, I've had some serious snuggles with Koen, alone in our little room at 3 am. I must admit that I have missed my bed and my sleeping boys.
We've had a grand system set up over here. My mom has been staying with us and she would start the night out sleeping on the pull out couch in the living room. At 6 am, Roger would wake her up and she would stumble back and crawll into bed with Griffin before the alarm went off to get up for school.
Griffin may seem spoiled...all of us setting up sleep arrangements to make his life easy. He gets the heeby jeebies if he wakes up alone in that big bed and with all the other changes around here with the arrival of Koen, we didn't want to take our bed away from him.
Se we shuffle the grown ups and he is happy. We do it cause we love him.
Well...Roger snagged a crib from a guy at work whose son had outgrown it. We set it up in our bedroom next to my side of the bed. Koen and I start out in the nursery and after the 4 am feeding I take him back to our bedroom.
I was excited the first night we tried this new system. Koen snuggled into his new crib and fell right asleep. I crawled into my bed that I had not slept in for so long. It was like coming home. Griffin rolled over and suggled up and mumbled "hi mom" and then fell back asleep.
I laid there and took in the enviroment. Roger was snoring up a storm, Griffin was breathing heavy, and Koen was letting out sweet newborn noises. It felt right, for all of us to be shacked up in our bedroom. One big happy sleeping family.
This is just one of many moments of us functioning as a family of 4. My mom has been released from her duties of filling my space in our bed.
I'm back where I should be.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

An open letter to the Universe

Dear Universe,

I have been thinking lately about the state of things and I have a special request. Not to sound dramatic but since I have given birth to my second son, I am out of my head with crazy insane love. The kind of love that makes me feel like a cave woman. I feel like if my children were in danger that I could fight off a saber tooth tiger with one arm and prepare dinner over the fire with the other. It's a gutteral nutty kind of love.
So my request is to please be gentle with my children.
I know that every child has to go through struggles and I don't mind a skinned knee or hurt feelings every now and again. Just try and keep it manageable.
My heart has never been so full as it is now and it's making me nervous.
So please...look out for these kids of mine. I have no choice but to bravely send them out into the world and all I'm asking is that it is a kind place for them to be.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

6 years!

We were married 6 years ago today.
I had some serious butterflies beforehand.
The ceremony was beautiful!
Then...things got a little crazy!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Settling in

My afternoons are full of naps in my lap
and big brother love.
We are settling in nicely!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Mother's Day Tea Party

Griffin's class had a Mother's Day Tea Party. It was so sweet.
They sang songs and had a slide show.
Ms. Jackie asked the students why they loved their mom.
Griffin said
"Because she's my friend and she buys me toys."
Then he led me to this sweet table and served me tea and snacks.
I cried my eyeballs out.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Giga ball

It's fun times at our house.
We got the Giga ball and Griffin wants to do everything in it.
Can I eat my lunch in there?
Can we have bedtime stories in the ball?
Can I sleep in the ball tonight?
The answers are no,yes,and no.

Lucky Kid!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dreamy pics

We had a wonderful photo session at our home with Heather from Stylized Portraiture
She is sooo flippin' talented.
We had a blast folding
my squishy baby into different poses.
Plus...she made my house look fancy!


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Beef stroganoff, tears, and sushi

It was Saturday night and I was crying
as I threw a family size Stouffer's Beef Stroganoff into the microwave.
Why am I in tears? I asked myself
it's just one stupid meal.
I really should not be crying about beef stroganoff.

I was crying because I had a baby 3 weeks ago
and had only left the house 5 times.
3 of those were to the pediatrician
1 was to my mom's house.
and 1 was a trip to the McDonald's drive thru.

It was Saturday night
and my mom had taken Griffin
so Roger and I could have a "date night"
I say "date night" in quotations because
we still had Koen.

I still had to breast feed every 2 hours
I still had to change dirty diapers
I still had to be a mommy.
Let's face it though, a 3 week old is
much simpler than a 4 year old.
A 3 week old can't argue with you and call you poo poo head. was a "date night"
and all I wanted to do
was go out to dinner.

Just the 3 of us.

Koen was cranky
I was exhausted with spit up in my hair
and dried breast milk on my dress.
It would have taken an hour to get ready to leave.

I gave up on going to dinner.
"How about we order some sushi?"
I suggested.
Yeah...that's a grown up thing to do
Eat yummy sushi and watch Tropic Thunder on DVD.
Then, it started to rain.
It started to rain hard.
Who wants to trudge out in the rain
to pick up dinner?
Not us!

Fine...the evening was falling apart.
I resigned myself to the fact
that all we had in the kitchen was stupid dumb beef stroganoff.

That was when I started crying.

Roger saw me falling apart.
He instructed me to call in my sushi order
drive myself up to Kroger to buy a diaper genie bag
then pick up my sushi.
He was going to sacrifice his dinner and
eat the damn beef stroganoff.

I dried my tears and hopped into the car.
Led Zeppelin was on the radio.
I almost felt human again.

As I drove, I realized that I had not driven anywhere
for the last 7 weeks.
My belly had gotten so big that
I took my parents up on an offer to be my chauffeur's at the end of my pregnancy.
Then the midwives said I couldn't drive for 3 weeks.

Don't tell them but I drove after 2 weeks and 6 days.

It felt great. As I walked into Kroger
I felt energized to see all the people
out and about. I felt adventurous.

45 minutes later I was at home with
a belly full of sushi
and a restored spirit.

Sometimes all a girl needs
is a little independence
even if it's as small as driving herself to the grocery store.

I almost feel like myself again.
If you've had a baby then
you understand exactly what I'm talking about.

Friday, May 1, 2009

A safe haven

My little view of the world.

Koen after he nurses.

It's no mystery that I am the most indulgent mommy on the planet. I love an abundance of snuggles and I give them freely. In return, I hope to have 2 very sweet boys that grow into affectionate men. We'll see if it works out that way.

So, when I nurse Koen, I am make it as luxurious as I can.
We sprawl out on the bed in his nursery and he latches on
while we snuggle and relax.
It's wonderful.

Sometimes Griffin will join us.
He will crawl into bed with us and lay behind me.
He plays with my hair.
Sometimes he sings lullabies.
It's dreamy.
We all feel so loved and safe
as we gather on the bed.

We all need a safe haven from this crazy world.

Last weekend, a professor from UGA
shot and killed his wife and 2 other men at a small theater
here in Athens.
I did not know any of the victims but it shook me to the core.
The man is still at large. It's been almost a week and there
is no trace of him.
It has sent ripples of fear through our
small calm town.

Then, there is this business with the swine flu.
I will admit that I have overdosed on media coverage.
I fear for my children.
It's not logical, I know.
I'll call it a hormonal irrationality
that makes me want to protect my children fiercely.

So, I really treasure the view I see while I nurse Koen.
The green is so lush
and the sun is nice and warm.
There are fat juicy carpenter bees
that buzz out side the window.
There are small birds that perch on the bushes.
I watch nature flutter outside my window
then I look down to see my sweet baby suckling.
I look behind me and see Griffin,
smiling as he strokes my back.

This is my safe haven.
This is my life.

Enjoy the view!