Monday, January 31, 2011

Who's the boss? I'll give you a hint, it ain't Tony Danza.


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My dad always says that Koen is like a little Bluebird in the morning
because he is so alert and cheerful.
I would say that is a pretty accurate description,
if Bluebirds are bossy drill sergeants.

Every morning my youngest son calls out to me from his crib.
I'll be dreaming lovely dreams about plates of french fries or Bo DuKe
when a small demanding voice pulls me out of my slumber yelling

"Mama, pillow!"

This means that Koen wants me to fetch him from his crib
and bring him onto my pillow with me.
This is a last ditch effort for me to grab
a few more minutes of sleep before we get up for the day.
I stumble to him and he demands "Pillow" the moment that he sees me.

I am a slow starter in the morning and my poor sleep deprived brain
needs at least 15 minutes of gazing into space before I can function.
So, onto my pillow Koen and I go while my groggy brain tries to wake up.
We settle in and I always think that we are going to drift off into sleep, then it happens.
He will notice the light on the alarm clock
that usually says some ungodly hour, like, 5:45 am.

Now, Koen has a very far reaching vocabulary
and I should know because from the moment he notices the light on my clock
until my brain starts functioning, he runs through almost his entire lexicon.

Here is how the first 15 minutes of my day unfolds with Koen on my pillow.

"Clock, mama, oh light!"
"Light on , mama?"
"Mama, (grabbing my hand) light on."

I stumble out of bed as he dashes into the hallway.

"Read, mama."
(Pulling my hand into his room)
"Light on, read."
"Night night moon, read."

I turn on the light as he grabs his book
and we both plop onto the rocking chair as I yawn
and flip on the reading lamp.

"Move, mama"
"Sit, read, night night moon."

He scoots off my lap and pulls me out of the chair
then puts up his arms for to put him in the chair to read Goodnight Moon.
I do so and then curl up in a ball on the floor.

"No, mama, sit"
He wants me to sit up while he reads the book in the chair.
I sit up and stare into space while he flips through the book.
For a brief moment I think that I might get
to drift off into la la land
when all of a sudden I hear...

"Food, eat, wet."

This means he is hungry and also needs a diaper change.
We change his diaper while I wipe the slobber off my chin
and the whole time he is yelling
"FOOD, EAT!"

I follow him in a daze as he scampers into the living room.
"Juice, mama."
"Food, eat!"

I put him in his booster seat and go to get him breakfast.

"Cereal, mama."
"JUICE!"
"EAT!!!"

I can't move fast enough.
I kind of want to cry.
Finally, I give him his juice and breakfast.
I sit and yawn and scratch my head.

"Tank ew, mama."
Which in bossy 22 month old language means

"Thank you, mom."

He is totally the boss of me for the first 15 minutes of the day.
I'm just too sleepy to defend myself.

I need a sleepcation
where babies aren't allowed
and there is no alarm clock to be found.

Winner : Bifocal Edition

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super hilarious and non biased best friend was the judge. Here are the top three in no particular order.

mommarocks
"I just don't know what she sees in me."

Luc Herbots
"That couch DOES look mighty purty as a dress, Da-Hur..."

Mother Theresa
The Class of ´81's "Couple
Most Likely to get Run Over by a Bus While Crossing the Street".

The winner is...
mommarocks

"I just don't know what she sees in me."

mommarocks
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Tell Monica congratulations for me!

Now head on over to her blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

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Thanks to all the people who played.

Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Freakshow Friday : Bifocal Edition

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, this has got to be a joke.

True love really must be blind.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

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If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sick Day

We've got the funk over here.
I'm tired, I'm cranky,
and I'm taking a sick day from blogging.

My brain can't think of anything clever to say.


Never fear though,
I'll see you tomorrow for Freakshow Friday.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Chubby Mom Confessions :: Can You Lose Weight While Stuffing Your Face with Pasta?

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Here is my latest confession:

The holidays and my wreckless eating habits have taken a toll.
A lady at the grocery store the other day
asked me when my baby was due.
Uh...not preggo, sorry!
It's shameful and I'm over it.

So, I am back on Weight Watchers...kinda.
In an effort to lose weight without getting grouchy,
I am trying all kinds of healthy recipes of foods that I love to eat.
That led me to the question,

Can you lose weight while stuffing your face with pasta?

I ask these kinds of questions because I care.

I decided to give it a shot by making this super easy recipe
from the December 2010 issue of Cooking Light Magazine.

Not only did I lose weight but it was super yummy.
I know this because my husband smacked my butt
as I was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner,
which as I have stated before is
a sure fire sign that the meal was a success.

I thought that I would pass it along
and maybe it would be lucky for you too.
Enjoy!


{You know that this is a Cooking Light photo, right?
Mine looked a bit more wilted and less fancy.
You're welcome for posting this pic instead.}

Sausage, Tomato, and Arugula Fettuccine

Ingredients

  • 1 (9-ounce) package refrigerated fettuccine
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 6 ounces Italian turkey sausage
  • 2 teaspoons minced garlic
  • 1 pint cherry tomatoes
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 3 cups baby arugula leaves
  • 2 ounces pecorino Romano cheese, shaved

Preparation

1. Cook pasta according to package directions, omitting salt and fat. Drain in a colander over a bowl, reserving 2/3 cup cooking liquid.

2. While pasta cooks, heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Remove casings from sausage. Break sausage into bite-sized pieces and add to pan; cook 3 minutes or until browned, stirring frequently to crumble. Add garlic; cook 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Add tomatoes, salt, and pepper; cover and cook 2 minutes. Mash tomatoes with the back of a wooden spoon to break them up. Cover pan; reduce heat to low, and cook 3 minutes. Remove pan from heat. Add pasta, reserved 2/3 cup cooking liquid, and arugula; toss well. Sprinkle with pecorino Romano.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Happiness Project :: Week 47

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Cute winter accessories that make
the cold a bit more bearable.


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If you want to jump on the bandwagon
simply post a photo of something that
makes you wildly happy.
Then, steal my button up there
and include it in your post.
Please let me know if you decide to join in.

Monday, January 24, 2011

I'm a (gasp) "Mommy Blogger".

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It's such a challenge to feel original these days if you are a Blogger.
The "Mommy Blogger" stereotype hangs over my head constantly.
It seems like every other blog out there is written by a housewife
who received a fancy camera for Christmas
and posts pictures of their morning coffee.
I know that I am just one of thousands of women
who find themselves swept up in the trend of documenting their lives.

It's easy to feel small.
It's easy to feel like a walking cliche.
It's easy to get insecure and wonder why you started a blog in the first place.
It's easy to feel pressure to present yourself as the most awesome person
who ever sat down to create a blog.

It's easy to have an identity crisis in cyberspace.

Well, I've decided that what I do on this blog is important
simply because it is important to me.

There is a spark in me that ignites
when I take a moment to photograph the contents of my windowsill.
There is a creative surge that circulates through me
when I blather on about my perspectives on motherhood.
There is a sense of completion when I post
The Happiness Project every Tuesday
and other ladies take a moment to pause
and feel that completion too.

I am part of a movement.
Where the mothers of the world are finding their niche.
We blog while the kids are napping.
We type out our thoughts when we should really be washing the dishes.
We feel whole because we take the time
to write out the story of our everyday lives.

It doesn't matter that we are a stereotype.
It doesn't matter that Nie Nie does it better than all of us.
None of that matters.

What matters to me is that my life has meaning,
that I have place to foster my creativity,
and this is my space.
It's very similar to yours.

We are all interconnected
and that's a beautiful thing,
if you ask me!

Winner : Giddy up Edition

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super hilarious and non biased best friend was the judge. Here are the top three in no particular order.
Asha
The Return of Napoleon Dynamite:
Kip's Revenge coming to theaters this summer.

Mother Theresa
Laddy Gaga on the cover of his new album: Born This Way

mindy2780
Daring the drunk guy can be so much fun!

The winner is...
Mother Theresa

Laddy Gaga on the cover of his new album: Born This Way

Mother Theresa
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Now head on over to her blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

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Thanks to all the people who played.

Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Red Dress Writing Prompt

So, I'm feeling brave and decided to join in the fun over at The Red Dress Club. It's right up may ally as they give you a prompt to write about. This week's prompt was to write a post using solely dialogue. Sounds like fun to me! This is an embellished story based on true events.

"I need you to listen to me now because I don't want grandma to hear us."

"I really don't have time to talk right now, Mom. I want to get in the kitchen and clean up the mess she made before she wakes up."

"She took a sedative, we'll have plenty of time to clean up after we talk."

"How long has she been like that? Why didn't you call me to come home sooner?"

"Listen, has grandma mentioned anything to you about her money?"

"Money? No, what money? We need to talk about her Dementia. She almost just burned down the kitchen. Do you see the mess in there, it was really scary to watch that happen. We need to put her in a home, this is just too much for us to handle."

"Shut up and listen to me, for once!"

"Let go of my arm, what's your problem?"

"This is important...has grandma said anything to you about her money? She's gotten so paranoid that I can't ask her about it."

"Uh, no, nothing about money, but she did confess that Grandpa cheated on her while he was in Korea. Did you know that?

"Yes, I know all about it, we need to focus on the money though."

"You knew? How come you never told me?"

"Look, we have more important things to talk about. You know about grandpa's back injury he got while he was stationed in Korea? Well, he received disability checks from the government and all of the checks that they sent were for too much money."

"Okay, so what does that have to do with us?"

"Grandma wrote letter after letter to the government telling them they were sending too much money. They never responded so she would cash the checks and put the extra cash under her mattress for safe keeping just in case the government came calling for it one day."

"How come no one tells me this kind of stuff?"

"Anyway, over the years she just kept collecting cash. In the end it turned out to over $300,000 that she saved. When grandpa died last year the government caught their mistake but excused Grandma from having to give them the money back because of her age."

"So...that means that she has $300,000 in cash under her mattress right now?"

"No, that's the problem, we talked her into putting in a savings account. Well, my friend Debbie works at the bank and told me that a few weeks ago Grandma came into the bank in a rage and demanded that they give her all of her money, in cash."

"Oh no, she must have been having some sort of dementia fit, or something."

"She left with all that cash in her purse and she has hidden it somewhere in the house, I think. I'm afraid that she's going to forget where she hid it and it will be lost forever."

"Oh my God, we have to find it!"

"I know, that's what I've been trying to tell you."

"I'll start looking in the floorboards and you look under all the cushions in her living room."

"Shh...I hear her coming?"

"What are you two talking about?"

Freakshow Friday : Giddy up Edition

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, this guy is a genius.

Todd never understood why he felt so lonely.


You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

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If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Stay at Home Mom Chronicles : Koen's Travelling Library

I'm realizing that my days around here seem to run together.
Ordinary moments unfold around me daily
and I need to stop and relish in them.
One day, my boys will be out living life
and I will miss these everyday experiences.

So, I am taking the time to document
the simple moments that pass between us.
I'm calling this little collection of memories...

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I made a little library for Koen in his room.

I used a child's size table that we gave him for Christmas that had been
in the living room for use during snack time.

I'll be honest with you, the table is plastic and super light
so a few times a day Koen will just flip the table over
or grab the chairs and throw them across the room.
I swear, it's like he's part of the toddler Mafia.

Anyway, I grew tired of picking it up and scolding him.
I'm just assuming that he's not quite old enough for it yet.

So, I moved it to his room next to a little bookcase
to move it out of the way and in the process, accidentally made him a library.

Suddenly, he feels very dignified about the whole thing.

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He actually sits at the table now to flip through books.
He loves his new library so much
and meanders into his room often to fetch a book.

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The best part is that now I find him often
plopped down somewhere with a book in his lap.
The book may be upside down, but that doesn't matter,
he still thinks that he is reading.

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I can see a love for books growing as he grows.
He'll grab Goodnight Moon
and say "Night night moon"
as he flips the pages.

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I stumble upon my toddler "reading" through out the day.
He loves his little travelling library.
Books are the one thing that I don't mind picking up over and over.
A sweet trail of books leads me back to his bookshelf
at the end of the day.

I hope that he will one day grow into a voracious reader.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Happiest Little Window South of the Mason-Dixon Line.

I have a little window in my kitchen
that is perched over my sink that it is covered
in treasures that make me smile.

It's tacky and overflowing with
mismatched vintage and new finds from different time periods.
Stained glass and celebratory bottles shine in the sun.
I just love this happy little window sill.
It holds all kinds of memories and history for me.

Let me break it down for you...

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Each little item is special for it's own reasons.
Like these little piggy salt and pepper shakers
that my mother gave me as a gift over Christmas.
They flirt with me while I load the dishwasher.
They are pure bliss.

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I just love this grumpy ol' guy that I found at the flea market.
You cannot be in a bad mood with him scowling at you.
Look at him...he's just fantastic, if you ask me.

PhotobucketThis little gem made it into my 28 Days of Happiness Project.
Roger found it for me at an antique store.
She sits daintily on the window sill
and holds my rings while I rinse the dishes.

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Griffin made me this sweet little heart
and presented it to me at the Mother's Day Tea Party.
I get all warm just looking at it's
handmade goodness.

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Oh...these ladies made it into my
28 Days of Happiness too.
I admired them at a Country Store in North Georgia
and my dad made a trip back to the store to fetch them for me
and gave them to me as a gift a few years ago.
Such a loving gesture...
they make me beyond happy.

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There is this awesome variety store in my town.
It's like an old fashioned five and dime.
Griffin found this charming little apple
that houses a scrubbing sponge for me there.
It's lovely to have a nice clean home for my sponge.

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Then there are my beloved juice glasses.
There is a story behind these
Go ahead and read it here, I'll wait.

Are you back?
Sweetest glasses EVER, huh?

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I just adore this gaudy little space in my home.
Each of these treasures deserve their moment in the sun.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Happiness Project :: Week 46

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Celebrating my husband's 40th birthday
with a scrumptious Carrot Cake!

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If you want to jump on the bandwagon
simply post a photo of something that
makes you wildly happy.
Then, steal my button up there
and include it in your post.
Please let me know if you decide to join in.

Monday, January 17, 2011

A stream of consciousness post where I start out strong but then quickly descend into an internal battle that becomes external.


I know that a lady is not supposed to admit her age but I'm going to get wild and crazy and tell you that I am 36 glorious years old. People have remarked my entire adult life that I am a kid at heart and I've really held onto that over the years to keep me feeling fresh and young. Well, since we're friends and all, I've got to admit that I am feeling a shift within me. It's not that I feel all old and lackluster or anything but I am feeling...less young than usual.

It's okay, I don't have to panic about it, even though I am a little bit. While at the dermatologist recently to get a biopsy done on a wonky looking mole (it came back benign-whew, now I can sleep again) I found myself looking at their anti-ageing literature out of the corner of my eye. I suddenly envisioned myself getting a chemical peel and some skin tone evening done on my face. You know what? I looked great in my imagination. Screw you wrinkles...I'm not scared of you. Well, maybe a little. Oh and you know what else? It didn't freak me out that I had that vision either. See what I mean, I've had a shift?

I feel myself trudging out of my fertile years and cruising into the next phase of my life. Where I am done having babies and I release my identity as a Mom with young kids. I know that I am years from hot flashes and Botox but I'm also light years away from my past of Cosmopolitans at Happy Hour and falling asleep drunk with my make up still on. No, these days I fall asleep quite sober with moisturiser smeared into every pore on my body. Except for the nights when I might slip a little Bailey's into my decaf and pass out on the couch at nine o'clock pm while drooling into pools of lip balm and mascara...but I'm not admitting anything. Okay, I'll go ahead and admit it. See, there I did it again, a shift!

It okay for me to age. It's okay for me to shift as I age. It's okay for me be 36 and feel 36 and just go ahead and accept that I am going to be 40 sooner than later. It's okay for me to get chemical peels and wear Spanx to the grocery store. It's okay for me to wear sensible shoes and elastic waste pants. It's okay that very soon, I will go to the grocery store in my Spanx and have no need to shuffle down the baby aisle because I won't have a baby any more. It's okay for my babies to become children and for them to be embarrassed by my sensible shoes and elastic waist pants. It's okay that I am trying really hard to convince myself that I will be okay with all of this.

It is going to be okay, right?

Winner : Magician's Assistant

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. I gotta be honest with you...my super hilarious and non biased best friend has an itty bitty baby now and by the time I get around to calling her to judge the contest, it's too late to call. So, when that happens, I am the trusty judge. Cool? Okay...here are the top three in no particular order.

Jeremy from We Took The Bait
The Gallagher children pose with their pet bunny
the morning before it was boiled by Glenn Close.

VandyJ
All was well until the bird crapped
and the bunny bit the hand that fed it.

Shannon
For my next trick, I will attempt
to pull some normal parents out of my hat!

The winner is...
VandyJ

All was well until the bird crapped
and the bunny bit the hand that fed it.

VandyJ
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Now head on over to her blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever

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Thanks to all who played and tune in Friday
for the next installment of Freakshow Friday.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Freakshow Friday : Magician's Asssistant

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, these girls know what's up.

Watch out for these two, they wanna reach out and grab ya.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

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If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Snow days.


If you need me, this is where you can find me.
Right by the yummy fire!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Cabin Fever is setting in.

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It snowed...oh boy, did it ever snow.
We are all bundled up and safe
and keeping the crazies at bay, for now.
Both of the boys have colds so we aren't playing in the snow.
Which is making this situation very interesting.

Activities to keep us sane have included...

*Throwing birdseed in the snow and watching the birds feast.

*Watching a group of idiots get their truck stuck in the snow
and then watching the idiotic ways they tried to get unstuck.
At one point they considered tying a rope to the truck
and then using the fire hydrant to get out.
One dude tried to push the truck while it slipped in the ice.
He almost got run over twice.
They finally turned around and drove back home.

This was a good 45 minute distraction.

*Eating...lots and lots of eating.

*All kinds of Wii tournaments

*Dance parties

*Did I mention eating? Oh and baking too.
Then we eat what we baked.

So far we have electricity but it looks like it will be days until this snow and ice thaws.
I anticipate a bunch more eating in my future.
We are trying to survive, after all.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Happiness Project :: Week 45

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Stepping back onto the dance floor after 20 years.
I'm feeling very brave and taking a Lyrical Jazz class.
My body is so happy to be dancing again.


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If you want to jump on the bandwagon
simply post a photo of something that
makes you wildly happy.
Then, steal my button up there
and include it in your post.
Please let me know if you decide to join in.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Snow Watch 2011!!


So, the weatherman is predicting ice and snow.
Which in Georgia means that everyone is losing their minds.
Including me.
The grocery store is a nightmare.
Everyone makes a run for bread and eggs.
Including me.

Once upon a time in the great ice storm of 2005,
Griffin was a mere 5 weeks old
when we became iced into our home.
The power went out and it was so cold
that we considered burning our furniture in the fireplace.
It was pretty scary.
We survived but we learned our lesson.
Our neighborhood is so hilly
that it's impossible to get out in the ice.

So now, whenever the forecast calls for ice and snow,
we pack up the family and head over to my parents' house.
Where a gas fireplace makes us warm and toasty.
Where we all huddle up and enjoy family time.
It's super fun.

So, if things are quiet around here for a bit it's
because the power went out.
We'll get back to our regularly scheduled programming
once this snow madness ends.
Stay warm folks!

Winner : Family Portrait Edition

We have a winner for this week's installment of Freakshow Friday. Please take note that my super hilarious and non biased best friend was the judge. Here are the top three in no particular order.
Secret Mom Thoughts
Jabba the cat is ready for his close.

Marla
Mary was heartbroken when
Fluffy and Grandpa died on the same day.
The silver lining was getting a
two-for-one discount from the taxidermist.

Mother Theresa
After hearing about that Australian guy who married his dog,
Alice and Mr. Frisky finally decided to reveal their love to the world.

and the winner is...
Marla

Mary was heartbroken when
Fluffy and Grandpa died on the same day.
The silver lining was getting a
two-for-one discount from the taxidermist.

Marla
is the funniest blogger in all the land.
Now head on over to her blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

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Thanks to all the people who played.

Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Freakshow Friday : Family Portrait Edition

It's time for another installment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a funny photo. My best friend will be the judge and she's one hilarious freakaziod. So, bring it! Here is this week's photo, I'm all about this cat!

Mr. Meow's head shot for Cat Fancy magazine.

You got a better one for me?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.
Oh...do I ever have an award for you!
You will win this brand spankin' new award!!

Photobucket

If you win then I'll linkup to your
Blog and make a big deal
about how funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

You Capture : Best of 2010

The assignment over at You Capture was to pick my 10 best photos of 2010.
I've really enjoying getting to know my camera this year.
I still have so much to learn but
I am proud of what I've discovered through my lens.
This year I hope to become more technical as
photography has been a very organic experience for me.

Here are some images that are my favorites.

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