Hayeppy Hollydayes

Merry "SITSmas"

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about
get with the program and go check out SITS.
It's a wonderful network of woman bloggers
that spread Blog love by leaving comments.
I've discovered some amazing ladies through SITS.

Anyhoo...today we are celebrating "SITSMas"
and there are prizes involved.
I want those prizes!
So...Merry SITSmas and a happy new year.

My tree topper wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas too.
I just love this girl, we found her at an old fashioned Five and Dime
and simply couldn't leave her behind.

I think that she looks like Phyllis Diller after one too many Martinis.
Hence the drunken Christmas wish.

Well, we've gone this far together. I may as well show you my fantastic Christmas tree.

Now you just have to see my fancy mantel.

My house looks like a glitter bomb hit it.
I hope that yours does too.

Winner: Bippity Boppity Bacon Edition

We have a winner for this week's instalment of Freakshow Friday. My non-biased and exceptionally hilarious Best Friend was the judge for this round. Here are the top three in no particular order.

Carol
I present to you "The Swinging Swines"

Amy
"Sure, their father was the foreman at the slaughterhouse,
but the boys thought the suits were in poor taste
for the annual Christmas card photo.
Not pictured are their sisters Lettuce and Tomato."

Georgina
"You wanna piece of meat?
YOU want a piece MEAT? Come on.
I'll give you a piece meat."

The winner is...

Georgina

"You wanna piece of meat?
YOU want a piece MEAT?
Come on. I'll give you a piece meat."

Georgina is the funniest Blogger in all the land.
Please head on over to her Blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.

Thanks to all the people who played.

Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Freakshow Friday: Bippity Boppity Bacon Edition

It's time for another instalment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a photo taken from Awkward Family Photos. I am operating on a multimedia platform today because this week's photo reminded me of something HILARIOUS!

Enjoy.

Here is this week's photo.

"I've heard of calling your child "Small Fry" but this is ridiculous!"

Think that you can do bippity boppity better?
If so, you may just when this awesome award
and have bragging rights forever.


I'll also linkup to your Blog and make a big deal
about how flippin' funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday!

Today is kind of a big deal...kind of.

I had big plans last week because I was all excited about the fact that I was soon going to write my 300th post. I was also stoked to see that I was nearing my own personal and quiet goal of reaching 100 followers.

Well, the moment came and went without me even noticing. I am so smooth!

So, today we are celebrating my 307th post and the fact that I now have 104 followers. Woo Hoo!!!!!

I'd like to celebrate by saying a nice shiny thank you to my most loyal readers. I have created a very extravagant award. I wanted to create something that would make my favorite readers feel opulent and luxurious. Isn't she smashing?

I bestow this honor to my top ten most loyal readers. Many of these ladies have been with me since the begining of Leigh vs Laundry. Most of them stop by everyday to spend some time with me and all of them take the time to leave me a lovely comment before they go.

Speaking from the Crib
Lee the Hotflash Queen
It Aint Easy being Cheesy
Batcrap Crazy
The Motherload
Stir-fry Awesomeness
E on the Street
The Crazy Baby Mama
Let's Have a Cocktail
Peeling an Orange with a Screwdriver

To all of these readers, I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you. I get swept away on a daily basis by authoring this Blog and I couldn't do it without you. Please pass this award onto your top 5 most loyal readers and thank them, then ask them to pass it on to theirs. Be sure to let them know that they've recieved it. I really want to honor the readers of the world. Let's face it...we're writers first but we are all also readers and supporters of other Blogs. Without avid readers we would all be alone in this thing. Words are my lifeline and I feel so blessed to share them with you all.

I'd also like to thank ALL of my readers for stopping by. It was hard to pick just 10 because I have so many amazing followers. So thank you and you and you and you oh and you in the back, from the bottom of my Bloggy heart.

File this under: Stupid Crap that I did while I was in College

I met my best friend Erin in the fall of 1996. It was an instant friendship that has lasted through long distance and time. We did some pretty ridiculous things when we were first starting hanging out. We just had so much fun together doing the most mundane things. For example, once when we were bored, we headed over to the mall to waste some time. We found ourselves in the dressing room of G and G (which was a slutty store with cheap club gear) trying on skin tight vinyl pants. Neither of us could sit in the atrocious pants because they were so tight but we both marveled at how great our butts looked in them. They looked so good in fact that we started smacking eachother's asses and obnoxiously laughing. We would take turns spinning around and then "SMACK!" the sound of giggling and spanking could be heard throughout the entire store. We were so entertained and did this for so long that eventually a lady who worked the dressing rooms came to check on us. "Is everything all right in there?" a small voice called from behind the closed door. This just made us laugh harder.

In the end, Erin actually bought the pants and attempted to wear them to a concert. Which was hilarious because she couldn't sit in them. So, as we all sat and relaxed while we waited for the show to start, she just stood there in her fancy pants. One of our friends had a Korean exchange student for a roommate that came to the concert with us. He was feeling pressure from his family back home to find a wife while in America. He had his sights set on Erin in her tight pants and valiantly stood beside her giving her the eye. It was so funny to watch because she couldn't escape him.

Well, years later Erin met a boy named Matt. He was crazy about her and really put in some time to win her over. She told him this story about the dressing room smack down from years earlier and he drew this awesome cartoon of us in action. The moment has been captured in time forever. He even framed one and gave it to me as a gift as well. It totally worked. He got the girl and best friend approval. They've been married for 5 years.

I've come down with a nasty case of Mylifeistooinsaneitus

You read that right. I've caught a bug and I've self diagnosed this affliction to be Mylifeistooinsaneitus. Okay, I just made that particular illness up but if it were a real disease then I would have it. I literally feel like I am slowly going insane these days. I've narrowed it down to a few causative agents in my life that could be causing my horrible symptoms. These symptoms include irritability, loss of intelligence, and drooling. The factors are...

1. My oldest child had tubes put in his ears a few years ago. They have since fallen out and are currently lodged behind a huge wad of wax in his ear that not even the ENT could get out. Apparently, every night when we shove ear plugs into his ears to keep water from getting in there during his bath, we have been smooshing wax deeper and deeper into his ear. Now he can hardly hear out of his left ear. The ENT managed to dig out enough wax out of his right ear so that he is not totally deaf but if you are standing on his left side you may as well be talking to a brick wall. This causes him to say "Whatdyasay?" all day long. I then have to raise my voice as of I am speaking to an old lady at an old folks home. We look crazy, especially at the grocery store when I am screaming things like "I SAID WE JUST NEED TO GRAB SOME TOILET PAPER AND THEN WE WILL BE DONE!" or "NO, YOU CAN"T GET THAT HOT WHEELS, NOW GO PUT IT BACK!" People must think that I'm verbally abusing my child. Thank God he will get his ears cleaned on December 28th. I am counting down the days because all of this repeating myself and shouting is making me nuts!

2. My house looks like a Montessori bomb hit the living room. Much to my chagrin, our living room is also the playroom. Our house is a long ol' Ranch style home and it just makes sense to have the kids play area be in the living room instead of way at the other end of the house. This means that I spend much of my day tripping over half finished experiments and various toys that sing when I walk past them. At the end of the day when I plop my lazy bones onto my big red couch I am surrounded by crap. It makes me crazy!

3. My oldest child walks like he is stuck in molasses. I am all about taking the time to let my child explore his world. I'm even willing to stop and let him poke a stick into a hole or stand and marvel at a leaf as we walk to the car before school. Yet lately, between his deaf ears and his even slower feet, I feel as if I spend much of my time waiting for him. I've gone limp because otherwise I end up either screaming things like "COME ON SLOWPOKE! CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME?" or I drop my arms to my side and look up and with a stiff body just like my Dad used to do to me when I was an annoying kid. It sucks when you become just like your parents.

4. I have 2 kids. I love it that I am a Mom to two kids but I have to admit that it can make me bonkers. Why is it 5 times more work but there are only 2 of them? Everything that I need to achieve has at least 10 steps that must be taken before the task is complete. Dropping my son off at school every morning takes forever. Getting both of them dressed, bundled up, packed up, placed in each proper safety seat, situated, driven to school, removed from said safety seat, walked to the classroom, backpack placed in cubby, walked to the playground, kissed goodbye, then back to the car with the baby who is then put back into his car seat, driven home, and promptly put down for a nap. Whew...by 9:00 am I am a zombie from all that damn work.

5. My brain has fallen out of my head. Oh yes, I am my also a major factor in my insanity. I annoy myself all day long. I'll grab the car keys but then realize that the baby needs a diaper change before we leave. I'll put down the car keys and change his sweet little booty. Come back into the living room and completely blank out as to where I put my keys. Then I panic and start tossing around toys and unfolded laundry to look for my keys. I get really annoyed with myself when I discover that I put them in the lock on the door. This happens all day long with various items that I set down and then manage to lose within a matter of minutes.

Okay...I'm done bitchin'

Thanks for listening to my self diagnosis.
I suppose that all of these factors just come with the territory of being a mom.
I should be thankful for my insane life.
I am going to self prescribe a glass of wine and a foot rub from my husband.

Flea Market Madness

My parents were so hardcore about our trips to the Flea Market when I was a child that we would go every single weekend to sniff out the deals. We would go to church on Sunday morning and take a change of clothes with us to change into after church. We would get better prices if we didn't show up at the Flea Market looking our Sunday best. Looking back on the weekly tradition, I can now applaud my Mom for being such an amazing strategist.

Let me tell you though, I didn't enjoy these trips to the Flea Market. I wanted to go to the mall instead. I felt embarrassed to be shopping for second hand items. There was only one thing that made it worth my time. My father would give me $1 and I would buy these "Pop Pop Snappers" and chase my dad around the isles throwing delicious little bags of annoyance at his feet. He would get so mad at me as they would pop around him. It was awesome.


Anyhoo...now as an adult, I can admit that I love going to the Flea Market. I am obsessed with all things vintage. I love the smell of an old dusty attic as I rummage through some old Ladie's junk. I love the thrill of finding something gloriously old and then haggling down the price.

We went to the ever so lovely J and J Flea Market over the holiday weekend. This place is a redneck paradise but if you take the time to hunt, you can find some fantastic treasures. I scouted out a few really cool vintage finds.

I found these cute Blossom snack sets that I'm going to give to my sister-in-law for Christmas. They are so retro that I fantasize about throwing a luncheon in honor of these dishes before I give them to her. I'd serve little finger sandwiches and float around the house in a vintage apron. I got two boxes full of these plates and cups for $10. SCORE!

I also found this dreamy 1939 Ship Menu that I'm going to give to my husband for Christmas. The scan does not do it justice. When Roger was a child, he had this fantastically flamboyant Uncle that would take him to Antique Malls. I believe that by spending countless hours surrounded by Antiques at such a young age, my husband grew up to become what I like to call a Renaissance Man. He has impeccable taste in art, furniture, nick knacks, and anything else you may find that is old and dusty. When I saw this menu I found it to be terribly romantic. I think that he will perch it proudly on our wall.

My heart almost skipped a beat when I saw two packs of this vintage "Mr. Holiday" wrapping paper. It was still in the original Hallmark packaging and is dated 1965. Pretty swank, huh?

I collect old magazines. It's so much fun to read the articles and look at the ads. I usually try to only by magazines from the 1950's (hands down my favorite era...hence all of the scanned 50's images on my Blog) but I just couldn't pass up this August 1935 American Magazine. I should have several hours worth of scanning ahead of me from the amazing ads in this issue.

So, there you have it. I'd say that it was a banner day at ye olde Flea Market.
I know that I must make my parents proud!