Friday, June 25, 2010

I Staged a Preschool Intervention-Part 3, How a 25 cent flea market purchase saved us from being the next Dr. Phil Family

I have what I now refer to as a "spirited child".
Griffin gives me a run for my money at any given chance.
I have to ask him ten times to do things.
He gets a wild look in his eyes and
tries to wrestle me at inopportune times,
like while we're waiting in line at the grocery store.

He is the pickiest eater in the world,
his chicken nuggets have to be the perfect temperature.
He is too smart for his own good
and it can get him into trouble at times.
When Griffin was a toddler
I was the mom that played in the sandbox with him.
I had to stop him from knocking over the other children
and very enthusiastically sucking on their heads.

We found out at the age of two
that he has a mild case of Sensory Processing Disorder.
Even though we see an Occupational Therapist,
I was recently feeling a bit overwhelmed with his "Griffin-ness".

That is, until my mom gave me this
incredible book that she picked up that the flea market for 25 cents.
It was a HUGE blessing that one quarter gave us.

This book literally saved me over the last 2 weeks.
As I flipped through the pages,
I had one epiphany after another.
I learned so many great tools that actually work with Griffin.

With just a few small changes on I how I
parent him, we've seen some great changes in him.
It's been nothing short of amazing.

I learned that instead of telling him "No!"
I should tell him to "Stop."
Just that one word change has been a miracle worker.

Instead of telling him what he can't do, I tell him what he can do.
For example...
"Stop kicking your brother,
if you want to kick something then kick a ball."
What does he do?
He runs off and finds a ball to kick
as Koen sighs a huge sigh of relief.

I learned that if we are both extroverts and need
other people to help us refuel.
If we spend all day stuck at home together
by the end of the day
we have sucked each other dry.
We plan tons of play dates now
so that I can get my energy from my spending time with my friends
and he can get his energy spending time with their kids.

There is chapter after chapter full of practical advice
for parents of strong willed children.
The kids who fight with you over getting dressed.
The kids who throw HUGE temper tantrums in crowds.
The kids who are picky about what they eat.
The kids with tons of energy.
The kids who have crippling separation issues.

If I just described your kid,
then you are not alone.
You have a right to need space.
You have a right to take control in a loving way.
There is help out there
for parents like me
with a kid like mine.

You'll find it in this book.

Between my preschool intervention,
my "activity cup",
and ideas from this book,
I have restored peace in my home.

Thank God because I was thisclose to calling Dr.Phil.

Disclaimer: I received no compensation for writing this review.
I wrote it out of the kindness of my own heart
and I actually read the entire book this time,
so I know what I'm talking about!

You can learn more about Sensory Processing Disorder here.


Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I'm going to the library today to check it out. Thanks for posting this.

Kristie said...

my son used to be the same way and guess what? i HAVE this book. I actually bought mine from Know what drove us the craziest? Changing seasons. Moving from short sleeves to long sleeves - shorts to pants - he still has eating issues but ... we're dealing. definitely a great book!!

R Montalban said...

I am so glad to hear all is becoming how you want it - I think you sound like you are doing a fantastic job, and in the process have given me some tips which I thank you for as well as a good laugh (sorry about the latter, but it's true)!

Wonder if the book would work on your Little Miss Sourpuss is there a section for demonic/scary looking children?

Shell said...

I've often picked this book up, but haven't read it. Sounds like I needto,though!

Unknown said...

I might need to read this. Except for the separation anxiety and temper tantrums this describes my daughter to a t...and the older she gets the worse it gets...

Theta Mom said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am totally picking up this book.

Off to tweetthis post now.

The Only Girl said...

The link you included definitely describes my oldest son - when he was younger. But now that he's 10, it seems he's "outgrown" MOST of his "quirks" as we used to call them.

Do you think it's possible for these children to outgrow them, or do they just learn to deal with things better as they get older?

Vanessa said...

Thank you so much for sharing this! What this does for me is makes me less scared to read the books like that that I have -- to know that they *actually* might benefit me, to hear someone REAL saying that it does, I guess it means more than the book jacket telling me so!

Karen Mortensen said...

Good for you. I am glad things are going well for you. I would have hated to see you on the Dr. Phil Show.

Katherine said...

Oh my! You have just described my youngest. Who says no to say no, whose default mode is opposition, but is the happiest, most energetic child ever. I am going to have to read this book.

Tracie said...

My BFF read this book and she swears that it changed her life. I probably needed it when the 10 yr old was younger. Now, I fear it's too late and I have given up.

Unknown said...

I feel like I've just read a post about my son. Thanks for the link to the info. I'll have to check it out.
Ironically, I just blogged about him starting physio, but am now wondering if it's more of this.
Thanks so much.

Caroline said...

This sounds like an awesome book! One that every parent could benefit from. I will have to go and look for it at the library. I am with you on making sure to take time to get out and refuel by being around friends. I need that so much too, especially during the summer for some reason.
Loved this 3 part series...hope you guys have a great weekend.

Rebecca said...

Thank you for sharing. I'm always looking for more wisdom in raising my two active children! :)

Babes Mami said...

I have seen this book but wasn't sure how good it was. Currently I need it for my spirited neice but judging by what a handful Babe is already we will be headed that way and lucky me I read you and will have lots of ideas and tips and tricks!! Which is great! He is just full of energy which is awesome but can be tiring!

Miz Dinah said...

I totally bought that book when J-girl was a toddler. It helped me understand her needs a bit more, as she was a very sensitive and willful child. She's quite well-behaved now but still sensitive to many things, which is a challenge. I'm glad it made a difference for you. We learn something new every day!

Unknown said...

Hey Leigh! I miss you. Summer is really throwing off the MNO schedule. I should have recommended this book to you myself. I would read it when I was pregnant with J after E would go to bed. At a time when I was too exhausted to cope with her while she was awake, I would love her "spirit" while I read this book at night. I craved running back to the bedroom and reading about how special she was before I fell asleep. I keep it by my bedside to remember all the positives about her personality. This book found me at just the right time. I'm glad you found it too.