Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Thoughts on Motherhood : When I'm No Longer Queen of the Castle

Warning: This post ain't pretty.

Lately I feel like my tiara has been shelved, I've been dethroned as queen of my household. It all started when Koen came down with a tummy bug last week and decided to stop sleeping at night. No self respecting queen would allow a whimpering child to sleep on her chest all night as she sat perched uncomfortably in the glider.

To make matters worse, we all came down with a cold. My sleep deprived body fell victim to sniffles and sneezes. My mind became bewildered and I could feel my reign as Queen slip between my tired fingers.

Let's face it, when I'm exhausted and not feeling well, my home falls apart. The kids bicker more and suddenly get very needy. They ask a ton of questions, fight for my sleepy attention, won't take no for an answer, make more of a mess, wrestle all the time, and generally turn into trouble makers.

The house gets neglected, dishes in the sink and unfolded laundry piles add to the feeling of insanity. I pray that whatever Koen is eating off the floor is old Cheerios. The toys stack up and I stub my toe on the same damn toy truck at least 10 times a day.

I drive Griffin to school looking like hell and feel a little guilty when I barely slow down for him to get out of the car. Thank God I don't have to get out and walk him to his class anymore because people might see the bags under my eyes or make fun of my hair that makes me look like a drunk Jacky-O.

I spend my day watching the clock and counting down the minutes until bedtime. I feel fat but I'm too exhausted to do anything about it. I reward myself with food and a glass or three of wine while I cook dinner. I've been known to weep while I fantasize about sleeping in my bed without any children needing me.

The nights are no better. With Koen waking up every two hours demanding that we snuggle in the rocker, my sleep is fragmented. I go to bed at 9:00 pm like the blue hairs in hopes that I can find some rest. When I do sleep, I dream of planes crashing on my house or little elves shoving forks in my ears.

I know that this will pass and soon we all be well. Sleep will return to my home and my nightmares will be replaced with dreams about Johnny Depp and cotton candy. Until then, I am not the queen of this household.

I'm even considering smashing my stupid tiara.

Do any other moms out there ever feel this way?
Please tell me that I am not the only dethroned mom!


Linda D. said...

Thanks for the hilarious post! We've all been there - dethroned as queens of our house for various reasons out of our control or consent. Remain hopeful and those elvish nightmares will soon be replaced with cotton candy dreams!

Susan Anderson said...

We've all been dethrones at one time or another. And boy, I used to just dread those times when my kids were sick.

Ugh and double ugh.


PS. Hope every one of you feels well soon!

Katherine said...

We all have days like this. I call them my "Mommy-Fail" days, the days when I just can't pull it together, my patience and temper are both short, and nothing gets done. But as my mother always says, "This too will pass."

Ducky said...

My house doesn't even HAVE a throne anymore. Tiara? That's just the rats nest that is my new permanent hairdo... you are not alone.

Caroline said...

YES, yes and YES we have all been there! We are actually going through a rough--still-getting-into-the-new -school routine now with homework (I never remember having homework at that age!) and whiny behavior because everyone is exhausted.

I think that any mother who claims or seems like she never has "moments of insanity" as I like to call them is not telling the whole truth. Unless she has a live-in maid, nanny and cook.

xo and I feel you sister! Love, your friend up north-ish

Snidely Whiplash said...

This is a spiritual problem, the world won't end because you falter sometimes. We all do. Love your kids. They know Mom gets tired, can't you see they don't give a shit how messy your house is; think what it would look like if they were in charge.