Year in review: July-December 2009

Somehow I miscalculated the days remaining in 2009.

I'm a genius like that, I guess.
I thought that I could list 3 separate months
over the course of 4 days.
As it turns out...I just had 3 days.
So now I have to cover the remaining six months
because I lost a day somehow. Where did it go?
I digress...

So, I will be picking my top two posts
from each month.
I don't want any of you
missing your New Year's Eve celebrations
on account of little ol' me
taking up all of your precious time.

July found us escaping the heat
and daydreaming about the beach.
We were bored and cooped up
all month long.


In August we packed up our crew
and headed South for the beach after all.
The drive there was insane
but it was all worth it in the end.
I even have a little movie to prove it.

September came with it's own set of worries
that I had to work through.
Roger and I had to learn creative ways
to show our love
in the aftermath of having two kids.

In October we had a great Halloween night
trick or treating with a ton of kids.
I also found myself laughing at Griffin's antics.

In November we dealt with some
of Griffin's illogical fears and had to spend some
time teaching him to overcome them.
We also hit some milestones
along the way.

Ah December, it seems like it was just yesterday
that I lost a battle to Christmas cookies
and went wild taking photos with my new camera.

As the year draws to a close this evening
I am thankful for every insane, crazy, overwhelming, ludicrous
moment that 2009 had to offer.

See you next year, suckers!!!

Year in review: April-June 2009

Come with me as
I am super indulgent and
continue my journey
through the past year
one Blog post at a time.

April found me waiting and waiting for Koen to arrive.
He took his sweet time getting here
but he finally was born the day after Easter.
Soon after that, things got a little intense over at my house
as we all adjusted to the new baby.

May was full of transitions for me.
I had hormonal episodes,
a newborn photo shoot,
moments of overwhelming vulanerability,
followed by moments of calm.


June took us into our first summer
as a family of four and certainly kept
me busier than I ever imagined.
I started to feel a bit more content with my new life.
I even carved out a moment all to myself.

Tune in tomorrow to see what happens in my house during a hot listless summer with a new Mom to two kids who has no idea what she is doing!

A year in review : January-March 2009

I am feeling a bit sentimental at the end of 2009.

It was a big year for me.
So please, indulge my nostalgic heart
as I journey through the last year through Blog posts.

January found me 7 months pregnant
and trudging through a very hard time.
My older brother was going through a divorce
and my mom left to help him rebuild his life in Colorado.
She is a huge a support for me
and in her absence all hell broke loose.
We had bouts of sickness
and then I had a scare
that landed me in the Emergency Room.

February was a very cathartic month for me.
I took the time to enjoy the first signs of spring,
grappled with pregnancy hormones,
counted my blessings,
and even found moments of laughter.

March found me to be 9 months pregnant
and so excited to have my mom return from Colorado.
Enjoying the last few moments that
I had with Griffin before the baby arrived.
Getting the nursery in order and nesting.
Settling on a name for the baby,
and waddling around like a beached whale.

Tune in tomorrow to watch the chaos unfold!

Winner: Oh Christmas Tree Edition

We have a winner for this week's instalment if Freakshow Friday. My non-biased and exceptionally hilarious best friend was the judge this round. Here are the top three in no particular order.

Wym
I am smiling you turd. Merry f-ing Christmas.

Danielle
"Now where the hell did I put the that tree?"

VandyJ
"Christmas has totally gone to my head!"

The winner is...

WYM

"I am smiling you turd. Merry f-ing Christmas."

Wym is the funniest Blogger in all the land.

Please head on over to her Blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.


Thanks to all the people who played.
Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday.

Christmas Insanity: gratuitous pictures

So...Christmas was appropriately insane for us. Tons of gifts and laughter and family and all of the wonderful things that make the holiday so much fun. Here is a pic of the boys before they started tearing into their presents. I'm shocked that Griffin sat still long enough for me to take this shot, he was supremely stoked!


Then, I did something a little crazy. I put together every check, cash, and gift card that I received and even batted my eyelashes to convince Roger to give me some more money and I bought myself a Nikon D5000. She's a beauty. I hit up the after Christmas sale at Target, walked out with my shiny new camera, and then skipped around like a little girl with a new toy the rest of the weekend. I was poking my new camera into everyone's face or into every little nook that I could find.

I took pictures of all the cousins playing together.

I took pictures of itty bitty things
that I stumbled upon
in natural light.

I snapped photos of Christmasy things...
like my Mom's collection of Santa's made out of toilet paper rolls.

I went outside and took pictures of my Dad's garden.

I made Griffin hang out on a bunch of rocks and tried to be artsy fartsy.

I'm just SO excited about my new camera
that I could literally pop.

I hope that Santa gave
you what you wanted too.

Freakshow Friday: Oh Christmas Tree Edition

I'm doing my caption contest on Thursday today instead of Friday. Just cause that's how I roll. This week's photo is from my personal collection. A good friend of mine in College worked at a photo lab. As a Christmas gift one year she gave me a photo album full of funny photos of strangers that she had collected from rolls of film that she had developed. It was unethical and creepy to consider that yes, they really do make fun of your photos at the one hour processing center. It made one hilarious gift though. Here is this week's photo.

Grandma Betty just couldn't get Christmas off her mind.

You got a better one for me?

If so, you may just when this awesome award

and have bragging rights forever.

I'll also linkup to your Blog and make a big deal
about how flippin' funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.

I'm going to sign off now for a few days
to celebrate and open tons of gifts
and shove food into my face
and spend some quality time
with my family.

Have a Merry Christmas!

5 years old

Oh lordy, I just can't believe it. Today my little boy is 5 years old, officially. When I look back to 5 years ago today it seems like a flash. I remember the details of his birth so vividly.

Highlights included

*A long drive from our tiny town to Atlanta Ga to give birth at Northside Hospital.
(we had just moved and my OB was in Atl)

*Christmas shopping while I was in labor because the hospital sent me away until I progressed further.

*Laboring in a hotel across the street from the hospital.

*31 hours of labor

*A delicious epidural at hour 25.

*Scarfing down a #1 combo from McDonald's almost immediately after giving birth because I hadn't eatin in hours because my stupid OB wouldn't let me and I was STARVING!

*Griffin being so calm that as the nurse checked his vitals she bizarrely said to Roger "do something to make him cry" so Roger, not knowing exactly what to do in that moment gently shouted "Go mow the lawn!" at Griffin. Laughter ensued at that exhausted moment.

*Feeling overwhelmed with joy to meet the baby that I had waited my whole life to love.

*Lots of snuggles, kisses, and exhaustion.

Happy 5th Birthday Griffin.
You are the love of my life!

Movie review: Avatar

From the moment that Roger and I saw the preview for the new James Cameron film Avatar we knew we wanted to see it. We slapped a high five in the dark theater and exclaimed things like "DUDE, we are SO there!" So I was beyond thrilled when my parents offered to watch the lil' nippers so that we could go to the Sunday matinee showing.

We decided to see it in 3D. The last 3D movie I had seen was a Muppet Movie at Disney world about 23 years ago. Roger's last 3D movie was The Creature from the Black Lagoon. Do you remember when they showed that on TV and you could pick up your 3D glasses at the gas station? Anyway, both of us weren't sold all the way on seeing the 3D version but we decided to be wild and crazy.

Holy crap! 3D technology has come a long way since Gonzo's nose came out of the screen. Avatar is a visually stunning movie. At one point I actually dodged a rock that clearly was not about to hit me. The colors are absolutely beautiful and the graphics are insanely amazing. The story is actually pretty good and I was so caught up in the fantasy that I hardly noticed that the acting was marginal. I am admittedly a bit of a Sci-fi fan so I let myself go there completely. Suspension of disbelief is defiantly necessary. If you are a movie watcher that is willing to have fun and go on a magical ride then go see Avatar.

I will leave you with a quote from my husband that sums up how we felt about this epic movie.

"I could have watched that movie for 8 hours. If they told me that it was going take all night to watch it, I'd throw on my jammies and pull up a blanket."

Winner: Aqua Net Edition

We have a winner for this week's instalment of Freakshow Friday. My non-biased and exceptionally hilarious Best Friend was the judge for this round. Our judge was drunk as a skunk when I spoke with her last night. Needless to say, after much giggling and a few almost incoherent remarks (sorry Erin, this is the public shaming you get for moving to New York in the first place and then having the gall to have such a fun life that I can call you on a Sunday evening at 8 pm and you are totally sh*itcanned from drinking one Bloody Mary after another since noon! Okay...maybe I'm just a little bitter since I have 2 kids and I'm breatsfeeding so I can hardly even remember what alcohol tastes like. Wow...did my inner dialogue just come out again? Why yes, it did. Now, back to our regularly scheduled program) the point is, we have a winner for this instalment of Freakshow Friday. Here are the top three in no particular order.

Beth
Oh, if only I hadn't given Granny
that extra body shampoo for her birthday!

JennyMac

Come inside my vestibule to God...

Busted Kate

Rather than get it removed, Aunt Dot
concealed her parasitic twin in a giant beehive.

The winner is...the lovely and talented

JennyMac

Come inside my vestibule to God...

JennyMac is the funniest Blogger in all the land.

Please head on over to her Blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.



Thanks to all the people who played.
Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Leigh vs sewing

I was inspired by this DIY project over at Love Maegan. We had some professional family photos taken this morning and I wanted to wear something snazzy in the pictures.

So...I approached the battle with a needle and thread in hand.
I've been known to throw all kinds of hissy fits when sewing is involved.

This project only took me a few
hours to make and I didn't cry once.

Yay me!

The best part is that I used one of my
fancy bobby pins that I wore in my hair at my wedding to
make it look even more frilly.

I will call this battle
"The great sewing victory of 09"

For those keeping score....

Leigh :1

Sewing:0

Freakshow Friday: Aqua Net Edition

It's time for another instalment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a photo taken from Awkward Family Photos. Since next week is Christmas and we will all be gathering with our crazy family members, I was inspired by this lovely photo.

"Aunt Jenny was personally responsible for the hole in the ozone layer."

You got a better one for me?

If so, you may just when this awesome award

and have bragging rights forever.

I'll also linkup to your Blog and make a big deal
about how flippin' funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

The winner will be announced on Monday.

The almost birthday boy.

Griffin makes off like a bandit for his birthday celebrations. He gets three separate celebrations all because he was born 2 days before Christmas. He has a party the weekend before with his friends so that all of his comrades will be in town to celebrate with him.

Then, we have a little party at school that is so sweet that I bawl my eyeballs out every year. He holds the earth and walks around the sun with the 12 months surrounding it for every year that he's been alive. The children sing this adorable song about the days of the year and everyone is off key and screaming the words. It's just precious. They all put imaginary gifts into an imaginary box for him. The children say stuff like "I'd put in 1000 Ninja Turtles" or "hugs from his mommy." It's almost too much to handle.

Here he is walking around the sun.

Oh...and I successfully made cup cakes for his class.
They actually came out decent
I'm just so flippin' domestic these days
I can hardly recognize myself.

So, next week, on his actual birthday he'll get presents
and celebrate his 5th b-day with his cousins.

The kid is lucky that I feel so
much Mother's guilt that his
birthday is so close to Christmas.

Oh, how I love my spoiled little birthday boy!

Oh hi...it's me, Leigh!

I've learned that giving birth sends me into a hormonal tailspin of personal neglect. I know that I'm not the only woman out there that falls victim to this. Sure, there are those ladies that bounce right back and have tons of energy and look great. I bet that these are the same women that had zero morning sickness and only gained 2 pounds while pregnant.

Not me. No, I am complete mess at the end of pregnancy and even more of a mess afterwords. It seems like I turn into a shadow of who I once. I have no motivation to take care of myself. It took two years after giving birth to my first son to be ready to lose the baby weight. These days a shower is not something that happens for me. I take a cat bath, put on new undies, spritz a little Coco Chanel perfume on my pits, put a hat on, and run out the door. I make vain attempts to rectify the situation but inevitably, I end up back at the bottom of my own list.

Well, yesterday, I found myself taking better care of myself. It was an accident really. I somehow ended up in a chair at the Bobbi Brown counter getting a makeover. Of course, I almost fell asleep right there in Belk as a 20 year old smeared moisturizer on my face and declared that my skin was "scary dry". It didn't matter though, I was doing something for me. Not even a skinny judgemental 20 year old could steal that moment from me.

My mom splurged and bought me this make up.
I actually put some on yesterday and felt pretty
for the first time in 8 months.

Then, in a haze of exhaustion I had a weak moment the other day
I ordered the Crunchless Abs DVD after watching an infomercial about it.
It came in the mail yesterday. I'm actually going to do a 10 minute workout
while my baby naps this afternoon.
I also didn't eat one bite of my son's
leftover Birthday cake yesterday.
It had become a problem, I mean,
I left a knife in the box of cake and would just take
a little slice here and there as I walked by all day long.
Before I knew it,I had eaten 1/4 of the cake in 2 days.
Not cool fatty!
Not yesterday though...
I took the knife out of the box!

Then, last night before I went to bed
I somehow found myself washing my face.
I also opened this awesome night creme that
Roger got for me as an anniversary gift-in May!
I finally took off the wrapping
and smeared this stuff all over my face.

As I sprawled out in bed reviewing my day
and saying my prayers last night I realized
that I had accidentally pampered myself.
It felt good.
Perhaps I'm having an awakening.
Perhaps I'm done hydroplaning on my hormones.

Leigh is coming back!

Leigh vs. Christmas Cookies

It's time for the second annual cookie exchange at my mom's best friend's house this evening. I am not a baker by nature. As a matter of fact, it would be safe to say that my oven hates me. Having only recently recovered from the Cupcake Battle of 2009, I thought that I would be kind to myself and make a simple cookie this year. My inspiration came from a Nestle Christmas Cookie recipe book that I had thumbed through while waiting in line and fussing with my 4 year old at Walmart. I settled on these delicious yet easy enough to make cookies.

Berry Chocolate Cookie Tartlets

*clearly, these are not my cookies*

I won't go into too many details about my defeat but I will say that in the end of what I will call
"The Christmas Cookie incident of 2009", I ended up moaning on the couch with a tummy ache from licking the cookie dough spoon and complaining to Roger about what a horrible cook I am. I said very self loathing things like "What's wrong with me? I mean, how hard is it to bake a damn cookie?" or "Those are the ugliest things I have ever seen in my life, I suck!" Roger would then say sweet things like "Well, they taste good" in which I would reply "Yeah, but if Martha Stewart made them they would taste good and look pretty" and then he'd say "I think that they're pretty" and then I'd roll my eyes and say "They look like a drunk ape made them!"

To pierce or not to pierce, that is the question.

Me and my nose ring transformed by my BF into fridge magnet circa 2000-ish

I was 20 and it just seemed logical to get my nose pierced. I figured that it was the best way to express my individuality. I almost fainted after the needle went in and when my Dad saw it he cried. My boss at the coffee house that I worked at hated it too. So, I sadly took it out. After convincing my boss that nobody cared if a barista at a coffee house had a nosering (had he seen the movie Singles?) I trudged back up to the tattoo shop and had them pierce it again. It hurt-again.

Me and my nose ring had 5 years of punk rock bliss together. I loved having it, I felt so cool and ornamented. Every boss that I had at every dead end job demanded that I take it out but I somehow convinced them to let me keep it. I fought hard to have that little ring in my nose.

Then, one night in a drunken stupor, as I lay drooling on my pillow and dreaming of french fries, my nosering wiggled it's way halfway out of my nose. I didn't notice until a co-worker said "Why is your nose ring hanging halfway out of your nose?" I tried to push it back in but it wouldn't go through. So, I did what any other lazy 24 year old would do...I had a nose ring that hung only half way in for a time. Sexy? Not really. So, before my wedding, my good friend Christine (she's the one you can count on to tell you if you have spinach in your teeth or a dumbass looking nosering on your face) took me to yet another tattoo shop for my birthday and they re pierced my nose for the third time. I had them put in a tiny little diamond because I was more mature and thought that it would be more subtle for my wedding.

Then, I had a baby. My nosering became so much more to me then. All the other moms with noserings (all 2 of them) at the Mom's Club that I went to gravitated to me. We were making a statement. We were saying, I'm still me even though I have this baby on my hip. I'm still young and with it, no Pooh Bear shirts for me, no sir, I am alternative and will never take this nosering out of my face.

Then, I got pregnant again. One morning, I was drying my face off with a towel as I stepped out of the shower, my nosering got caught on the fibers of the towel and fell out. I was 8 months pregnant and not about to bend over to look for that thing on the floor. I decided that I would just go and get a new one. Somehow, my nosering didn't take priority anymore. I never made it back to the store to get a new one. The hole closed up. I was noseringless for the first time in 14 years. I had my baby, I was busy, I never even thought about it to be honest.

Until recently, as I put on my make up, I caught a glimpse of my plain ol' nose. Should I go get it pierced for a 4th time? The answer is no. I have decided to let that part of my life go. Maybe it's because I finally feel really comfortable with myself. I don't need a piercing to feel cool and let's face it, at 35, I'm not exactly a spring chicken. I'll save the noserings of the world for the new crop of young ladies that need to express themselves. I feel pretty secure with one kid on my hip and the other hanging onto my leg, I don't need a nosering anymore to feel unique.

Now, as for "Mom jeans",
I solemnly swear to never wear a pair.
Nobody should feel that secure.

*Please read the post below for the winner of Freakshow Friday

Winner:Silent Night Edition

We have a winner for this week's instalment of Freakshow Friday. My non-biased and exceptionally hilarious Best Friend was the judge for this round. Here are the top three in no particular order.

Mrs Montoya
"Oh Joseph, when I said it didn't matter what
it was as long as it was healthy, I was talking about a boy or a girl."

VandyJ
"Geez, lady just go for the infertility tests already,
I'm tired of being your "baby"!!

Lesley
"after seeing the baby for the first time...
ole joe knew for sure that the baby definitely wasn't his..."

The winner is...

VandyJ

"Geez, lady just go for the infertility tests already,

I'm tired of being your "baby"!!

VandyJ is the funniest Blogger in all the land.
Please head on over to her Blog
and marvel at this fantastic award she just earned
to proudly display forever.



Thanks to all the people who played.
Tune in this Friday for another instalment of Freakshow Friday!

Two very good boys

When Santa asked G if he had been a good boy this year,
he started to confess some naughty things that he had done.
Santa told him to "Hold on little guy, you're still on my good list!"

He was just like Chunk in the Goonies.
"I pushed my sister down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog!'

Freakshow Friday: Silent Night Edition

It's time for another instalment of Freakshow Friday. Where I ask my readers to come up with a caption or story for a photo taken from Awkward Family Photos. I am feeling very festive these days so I decided to go with a Christmas theme this week.

This is clearly a case of pet worship gone too far.

You got a better one for me?

If so, you may just when this awesome award

and have bragging rights forever.

I'll also linkup to your Blog and make a big deal
about how flippin' funny you are.
Simply leave your funny caption or story
in my comments section.

Please try not to be too sacrilegious.
I'm trying to get on Santa's nice list this year.

The winner will be announced on Monday!

A lesson

When gardeners plant seeds, …they don’t doubt that the seeds will grow into plants

And gardeners don’t get lost in their attachment to the result;

they know the result is the there

this principle in nature is do less, accomplish more.

the law of least effort.

Trust in nature’s infinite organizing power is an important

component of the state of grace.

gardeners plant seeds and then let go

It’s the same thing for you.

Have a goal in your awareness, give it your attention,

and have no doubt.

Be effortless about it, and the desire will manifest.

-Deepak Chopra

For the love of Robert Plant

A musical phenomenon has taken place between my oldest son and I and that is an undeniable love of Led Zeppelin. I would not call myself an aficionado of Classic Rock and I haven't always had an affinity for Robert Plant's sultry voice.

I do have a slight history with the band thanks to my brother who is 4 years older than me. He exposed me to all kinds of music when I was an impressionable preteen. He would come and find me in the house and invite me to "mellow out" in his room. He would put on Houses of the Holy and we would lay around and drink Dr. Pepper while jamming out to D'yer Mak'er on his stereo. I was 14 and looked forward to those times with my big brother. We'd listen to Pink Floyd or The Doors and play air guitar.

Sometimes my Mom would force him to give me a ride places in his red Honda Prelude. He would blast Ramble On and scream "Wanna die?" right in my face. He would then floor it and take quick turns or get air off of railroad tracks while Led Zeppelin blasted out the windows in an attempt to torture me. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Fast Forward 14 years and I had let Led Zeppelin fall by the wayside. It wasn't until I was pregnant with G that I started to appreciate them again. You see, I didn't crave any particular food when I was pregnant. No, I kid you not, I craved Led Zeppelin. It was insane. If they came on the radio I would lose my mind with excitement. "Turn it up!" I would yell and transcend to a happy place as the music spilled around me. I was obsessed and couldn't get enough. My husband was confused by my new found love for them but supported me on my quest for all things Led Zeppelin.

Now, G is almost 5 years old and he is crazy for Zeppelin. Just this morning as I drove him to school and the radio was on Scan (our CD player has gone kaput, it's radio tunes for us these days) when Whole Lotta Love came on. "Turn it up Mom!!" he shouted to me with excitement. I did just that and we rocked out as we made our way to his school. I looked in the rearview mirror and his eyes were closed, his head was swaying back and forth, and his hands fervently strummed an air guitar. He was in Classic Rock heaven.

It's a strange and mysterious force that takes over us.
I may never understand it.